Scripture Daily

Context No. 1940 of 4322 · 1 Samuel

Context · Reflection

1 Samuel 20:9-16: in context

9Jonathan said, “Far be it from you; for if I should at all know that evil were determined by my father to come on you, then wouldn’t I tell you that?” 10Then David said to Jonathan, “Who will tell me if your father answers you roughly?” 11Jonathan said to David, “Come! Let’s go out into the field.” They both went out into the field. 12Jonathan said to David, “By the LORD, the God of Israel, when I have sounded out my father about this time tomorrow, or the third day, behold, if there is good toward David, won’t I then send to you and disclose it to you? 13The LORD do so to Jonathan and more also, should it please my father to do you evil, if I don’t disclose it to you and send you away, that you may go in peace. May the LORD be with you as he has been with my father. 14You shall not only show me the loving kindness of the LORD while I still live, that I not die; 15but you shall also not cut off your kindness from my house forever, no, not when the LORD has cut off every one of the enemies of David from the surface of the earth.” 16So Jonathan made a covenant with David’s house, saying, “The LORD will require it at the hand of David’s enemies.”

David, in danger from Saul, needs to know his true intentions, and Jonathan promises to find out and tell him honestly. Far be it from you to be kept in the dark, Jonathan says; if I knew my father meant you harm, would I not tell you? He swears by the LORD to disclose whatever he learns, good or bad, and to send David away in peace if the news is bad. And the two bind themselves in a covenant of faithfulness, Jonathan asking that David keep kindness with his house even after David comes to power.

What Jonathan promises David is the gift of an honest friend: to tell him the truth, even hard truth, rather than leave him in comfortable ignorance. David's life depended on knowing his real situation, whether Saul truly meant to kill him, and Jonathan promised to find out and tell him plainly, good news or bad. If the news were bad, Jonathan would not soften or hide it to spare David's feelings; he would tell him the truth and send him to safety. This is the mark of a true friend: one who will tell us the truth we need to know, even when it is unwelcome, rather than keeping us in the dark. There is something to value here, both in having such friends and in being one. We are often surrounded by people who tell us what we want to hear, who flatter, who avoid the hard truths that might upset us; and such company is comfortable but not truly loving. The friend who loves us will, like Jonathan, tell us the truth we need, even when it is hard, not leaving us in a comfortable ignorance that could harm us. And we are called to be such friends to others: to tell them the truth honestly, even when it is unwelcome, rather than flattering them or hiding what they need to know. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, the proverb says; and the honest word, even the hard one, is a gift. Jonathan would not keep David in the dark about the danger he faced; he promised to tell him the truth. And the friendships worth having, and worth being, are the honest ones, where the truth is told in love, even when it is hard to hear, rather than hidden to keep the comfort. To have a friend who will tell us the truth is a gift; and to be such a friend, honest even when it is unwelcome, is a form of love.

Do I surround myself with people who tell me only what I want to hear, and do I flatter others or hide hard truths to keep the comfort, or can I both value the friend who tells me the truth I need even when it is unwelcome, like Jonathan promising not to leave David in the dark, and be such an honest friend to others, telling them the truth in love?

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