Romans 12:14-21: in context

Amid a string of instructions on how love actually behaves, Paul gives a brief command that reaches into the whole of our life with others: rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. It is a call to enter into the joys and sorrows of others as though they were our own, to be so bound to those around us that their gladness gladdens us and their grief grieves us. Neither their joy nor their pain is to leave us untouched; we are to share in both, entering into what they feel.

This short command asks something of us in two directions, and each is harder than it sounds. To weep with those who weep is to let another's grief become our own, to draw near to their pain rather than keeping a safe distance, to share the sorrow rather than offering advice or turning away. It costs us to enter genuinely into another's grief; but that is what love does. And to rejoice with those who rejoice can be even harder, for it asks us to be glad at another's good, another's success, another's blessing, without envy, without the quiet resentment that another has what we lack. To rejoice truly with the rejoicing, we must set aside comparison and envy and let their gladness be our gladness. Both are the work of a love that binds us to others, making their joys and sorrows our own. This is how love enters into the lives of others. We are not called to stand apart, observing others' joys and sorrows from a distance, touched by neither; we are called to share in both, to weep with the grieving and rejoice with the glad, entering genuinely into what they feel. If one member suffers, Paul says elsewhere, all suffer together; if one is honored, all rejoice together; that is the life of a body bound together in love. And this reflects the heart of Christ, who wept with those who wept, standing at the grave of his friend and weeping with the grieving, entering fully into human sorrow. This searches how we are present to others. Do we enter into their grief, weeping with those who weep, drawing near to their pain rather than keeping our distance? And do we rejoice with those who rejoice, glad at their good without envy, or does another's blessing stir resentment rather than joy? Love binds us to others so that their joys and sorrows become our own; and the call is to that shared life, weeping with the grieving and rejoicing with the glad, entering into what others feel rather than standing apart untouched.

Do I enter genuinely into the joys and sorrows of others, weeping with those who weep and rejoicing with those who rejoice, or do I keep a safe distance from others' grief and let envy sour my gladness at others' good, and can I let love bind me to those around me so that their sorrows draw my tears and their joys become my own?