1 Samuel 25:21-31: in context

David, insulted by the harsh and foolish Nabal, sets out in anger to take bloody revenge, vowing to kill every male in Nabal's household by morning. But Nabal's wise wife Abigail rides out to meet him. She falls before him, takes the blame on herself, brings a gift, and speaks a wise and humble word: do not let this be a cause of grief to you, that you shed blood without cause or avenged yourself. The LORD, she reminds him, has kept you from bloodguilt. Her wise intervention restrains David from the vengeance he had sworn.

The mercy in this story is that David was stopped before he did a great wrong, and stopped by the wise word of another. He was set on vengeance, blinded by anger, about to shed blood and incur bloodguilt in avenging an insult. And Abigail's timely, wise, humble intervention turned him back. She did not merely oppose him; she appealed to him wisely, reminding him of who he was and what he would regret, showing him that the LORD had kept him from the very bloodguilt he was about to incur. Her word broke through his anger and restrained him from the sin he was rushing toward. David himself recognized it, blessing God for sending her to keep him from vengeance. There is a truth here about the value of a wise word that restrains us before we do wrong. In the heat of anger or the grip of a rash impulse, we can be rushing toward a wrong we will deeply regret, unable to see clearly, about to shed blood, as it were, in avenging some slight. And God often sends, in such moments, a wise word from another that breaks through and restrains us, an Abigail who turns us back before we do the wrong. A gentle answer, the proverb says, turns away wrath; and a wise, humble word at the right moment can stop us from a sin we are rushing toward. This has two implications. It calls us to receive such words when they come. When someone speaks wisely to restrain us from a rash act, appealing to us to turn back from vengeance or folly, we do well to heed them, as David heeded Abigail, rather than pressing on in our anger. The wise word that restrains us from wrong is a mercy, not an interference. And it calls us to be, at times, the Abigail for others, speaking the wise, humble word that might restrain someone rushing toward a wrong they will regret. Vengeance belongs to God, Paul says; and often God keeps us from taking it ourselves through the wise intervention of another. David was about to shed blood in vengeance, and Abigail's wise word turned him back; and we are called both to heed such words when they restrain us and to speak them when we might keep another from rushing into wrong.

When I am rushing toward a wrong in the heat of anger or a rash impulse, about to avenge some slight, do I heed the wise word that would restrain me, as David heeded Abigail, or do I press on in my anger, and am I willing to be the Abigail for another, speaking the wise, humble word that might turn someone back from a wrong they will regret, receiving and offering the restraining word as the mercy it is?