Numbers 20:17-21: in context

As Israel journeys toward the promised land, they seek to pass through the territory of Edom, their kinsmen. They send a courteous, reasonable request: let us pass through on the highway; we will not go through your fields or vineyards or drink your water without paying; we only ask passage. But Edom refuses harshly and comes out with an armed force to block the way. Israel does not force the issue or retaliate; rather than fighting their way through, they simply turn away and take another route.

Israel's response to Edom's refusal is worth noting: they turned away rather than forcing the conflict. Their request had been humble and reasonable; Edom's refusal was harsh and even threatening. Israel had grounds for grievance, and perhaps the strength to force passage. But they did not press the fight. They turned aside and went another way, choosing to avoid the conflict rather than escalate it, to seek an alternative route rather than force their way through by battle. They did not answer Edom's hostility with hostility, but turned away in peace. There is wisdom here about not forcing every conflict. When we are refused, opposed, or treated unfairly, our instinct is often to press the issue, to insist on our rights, to force our way through, to answer hostility with hostility. Israel shows another way: to turn aside rather than fight, to seek another route rather than force the confrontation, to choose peace over the battle even when we have been wronged. Not every conflict must be fought; not every refusal must be answered with force; not every wrong must be avenged. Sometimes the wiser and more peaceable course is to turn away, as Israel turned away from Edom. If it is possible, Paul says, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with all people. Peace is not always possible, and it does not always depend on us; but where it can be had by turning aside rather than forcing the fight, that is often the wiser way. It is an honor for a man, the proverb says, to keep aloof from strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. This searches how we handle the conflicts and refusals we meet. When we are opposed or treated unfairly, do we insist on forcing the issue, answering hostility with hostility, quarreling and pressing the fight? Or can we, like Israel, turn away from the conflict where we can, seeking peace over the battle, not forcing every confrontation or avenging every wrong? Israel turned away from Edom rather than fight; and there is often wisdom in doing the same, choosing the peace of turning aside over the strife of forcing our way, living at peace as far as it depends on us rather than escalating every conflict into a battle.

When I am refused, opposed, or treated unfairly, do I insist on forcing the issue, answering hostility with hostility and pressing every conflict into a fight, or can Israel, who turned away from Edom rather than force their way through by battle, teach me the wisdom of not forcing every conflict, choosing peace over the fight where I can, and living at peace as far as it depends on me rather than escalating every wrong into a quarrel?