Genesis 34:18-23: in context

After the assault on Dinah, Hamor and his son Shechem come to Jacob's family proposing intermarriage and alliance, and then present the plan to the men of their own city. Their public words sound generous: these men are peaceful; let them live and trade among us; let us intermarry and become one people. But then, among themselves, their real motive surfaces. Will not their livestock and their possessions and all their animals be ours? they say. The alliance framed as peace and mutual benefit was, at its heart, a scheme to acquire Jacob's wealth.

This episode exposes the gap between stated motives and real ones. To the public, Hamor and Shechem spoke of peace, mutual benefit, becoming one people, generous-sounding words that masked their true aim. But privately, the real motive appeared: they wanted Jacob's wealth, and the alliance was the means to acquire it. The generous words were a cover for self-interest; the goodwill was a disguise for greed. What looked like a gracious proposal of peace was, underneath, a scheme for gain. This is a pattern to be aware of, both in ourselves and in others. In ourselves, we can mask our self-interest with the language of goodwill, presenting as generous or high-minded what is really driven by our own advantage, cloaking greed or ambition in gracious words even to ourselves. The heart is deceitful, Jeremiah says; and we can hide our true motives behind noble-sounding ones. This calls us to honesty about our own motives, examining whether our generous words cover a self-interested aim. And in others, this pattern calls for discernment. Not every gracious proposal is what it seems; self-interest can disguise itself as goodwill, and a scheme for gain can wear the language of peace and mutual benefit. He who hates disguises it with his lips, the proverb warns, but do not believe him, for there are many abominations in his heart. We are not to be cynical, suspecting everyone, but neither are we to be naive, taking every generous-sounding proposal at face value without discernment. God, who searches the heart, sees the real motive behind the words; and wisdom looks beneath the surface of gracious proposals to discern the aim they may conceal. This searches both our speech and our discernment. Do we mask our own self-interest in the language of goodwill, presenting as generous what is really driven by our advantage? And are we discerning about the proposals of others, aware that self-interest can disguise itself as goodwill? Hamor and Shechem's generous words hid a scheme for gain; and we are called both to honesty about our own motives, refusing to cloak self-interest in gracious words, and to discernment about others', looking beneath the surface rather than being deceived by goodwill that may conceal a self-interested aim.

Do I ever mask my own self-interest in the language of goodwill, presenting as generous or high-minded what is really driven by my own advantage, and am I discerning about the proposals of others, aware that self-interest can disguise itself as goodwill, and can Hamor and Shechem's generous words that hid a scheme for gain move me both to honesty about my own motives and to a discernment that looks beneath the surface rather than being deceived?