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Context No. 2300 of 4322 · 2 Chronicles

Context · Reflection

2 Chronicles 10:6-11: in context

6King Rehoboam took counsel with the old men, who had stood before Solomon his father while he yet lived, saying, “What counsel do you give me about how to answer these people?” 7They spoke to him, saying, “If you are kind to these people, please them, and speak good words to them, then they will be your servants forever.” 8But he abandoned the counsel of the old men which they had given him, and took counsel with the young men who had grown up with him, who stood before him. 9He said to them, “What counsel do you give, that we may give an answer to these people, who have spoken to me, saying, ‘Make the yoke that your father put on us lighter’?” 10The young men who had grown up with him spoke to him, saying, “Thus you shall tell the people who spoke to you, saying, ‘Your father made our yoke heavy, but make it lighter on us;’ thus you shall say to them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist. 11Now whereas my father burdened you with a heavy yoke, I will add to your yoke. My father chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions.’”

As the new king Rehoboam considers how to answer the people's plea for a lighter burden, he seeks counsel. The elders who had served his father Solomon give him wise advice: if you are kind to these people and please them and speak good words to them, they will be your servants forever. Kindness and gentle words, they counsel, will win the people's loyalty. But Rehoboam rejects this counsel for the harsh advice of his peers, threatening to increase the people's yoke, and the harshness provokes rebellion and tears the kingdom apart.

The elders' counsel names a truth about how hearts are won: kindness and gentle words win loyalty, while harshness provokes resistance. If you are kind and speak good words, they told Rehoboam, the people will serve you forever. Kindness would have won the people's devoted loyalty; but Rehoboam chose harshness, and harshness provoked rebellion. The way to win and hold the hearts of people is not force and severity, which provoke resistance, but kindness and gentle words, which draw loyalty and devotion. This is a principle for how we deal with others, especially those under our influence or authority. We can be tempted to think that harshness, severity, and force are the way to get compliance and respect. But the elders' wisdom, and much of Scripture, teaches the opposite: kindness wins hearts, while harshness provokes resistance and rebellion. A gentle answer, the proverb says, turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. A soft tongue, another proverb says, breaks the bone; gentleness accomplishes what force cannot. The way to win people is kindness, not severity. This searches how we treat those we deal with, lead, or have authority over. Do we deal with them by kindness and gentle words, which win their hearts and loyalty, or by harshness and severity, which provoke resistance and resentment? Rehoboam chose harshness and lost most of his kingdom; kindness would have won the people forever. And in our own dealings, kindness draws hearts while harshness drives them away. Come to me, Jesus says, for I am gentle and lowly in heart; the gentleness of Christ draws us to him. This calls us to deal with others by kindness rather than harshness. The elders counseled Rehoboam that kindness and gentle words would win the people's loyalty forever, but he chose the harshness that provoked rebellion; and we too are called to win hearts by kindness rather than drive them away by severity, dealing with those under our influence gently and kindly, speaking good words rather than harsh ones. Kindness wins loyalty and draws hearts; harshness provokes resistance and resentment. And we are called to the way of kindness, not severity, dealing with others as we would be dealt with, and winning by gentleness what force and harshness never could.

In dealing with those I lead, influence, or have authority over, do I use harshness and severity, thinking they win compliance and respect, when in fact they provoke resistance and resentment, and can the elders' counsel to Rehoboam, that kindness and gentle words would win the people's loyalty forever, move me to deal with others by kindness rather than harshness, speaking good words and gentleness that win hearts, rather than the severity that drove Rehoboam's people to rebellion?

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