Numbers 15:27-31: in context

The law makes provision for the person who sins unintentionally: he brings an offering, and the priest makes atonement, and he is forgiven. But then it draws a sharp contrast. The person who sins with a high hand, whether native or foreigner, blasphemes the LORD; because he has despised the LORD's word and broken his commandment, that person shall be cut off. The law distinguishes the sin of weakness or ignorance, which finds atonement, from the defiant, presumptuous sin done in willful contempt of God.

The distinction the law draws is between two very different kinds of sin. There is the sin done unintentionally, in weakness or ignorance, without meaning to defy God; for this, atonement is provided, and the sinner is forgiven. And there is the sin done with a high hand, defiantly, presumptuously, in willful contempt of God and his word; this the law treats as blasphemy, a despising of the LORD, for which the presumptuous sinner is cut off. The difference is not merely in the outward act but in the heart: the one sins in weakness, the other in defiant contempt of God. This searches the heart behind our sin. We all sin, and much of our sin is the sin of weakness, of ignorance, of failing to do what we know we should, without meaning to defy God. For this there is atonement and forgiveness in Christ. But there is a graver thing: to sin defiantly, presumptuously, in willful contempt of God, deliberately doing what we know he forbids, despising his word, not out of weakness but out of defiance. This high-handed sin is a different and graver matter, a despising of God himself. Keep back your servant, the psalmist prays, from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me. The presumptuous, defiant sin is one to be feared and prayed against. This is not to make us despair over our sins of weakness, for which there is full atonement in Christ; nor is it to suggest that any sin is beyond God's mercy to the repentant. But it is a warning against the defiant, presumptuous attitude that sins in willful contempt of God, that deliberately despises his word, that sins with a high hand rather than in weakness. If we go on sinning deliberately, Hebrews warns, after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there is a graver danger. The heart that sins defiantly, in contempt of God, is in a perilous state. This calls us to guard against the defiant, presumptuous sin that despises God, distinct from the sins of weakness for which there is atonement. The law distinguished the unintentional sin, which found forgiveness, from the high-handed sin that despised God's word; and we do well to heed the distinction. Let us bring our sins of weakness to God for the atonement he provides in Christ, and let us guard our hearts against the defiant, presumptuous sin that would deliberately despise God and his word, praying, as the psalmist prayed, to be kept from presumptuous sins, that they might not have dominion over us, and coming to God not with a heart of defiance but with the humble, repentant heart that he receives.

Do I ever sin not merely in weakness or ignorance but defiantly, with a high hand, deliberately doing what I know God forbids and despising his word in willful contempt of him, and can the law's distinction between the unintentional sin that finds atonement and the presumptuous sin that despises God warn me to guard against the defiant, high-handed sin, praying as the psalmist did to be kept from presumptuous sins, and coming to God not with a heart of defiance but with the humble, repentant heart he receives?