Context No. 2580 of 4322 · Sirach

Sirach 18:1-16: in context

1He who lives forever created the whole universe. 2The Lord alone is just. 4He has given power to declare his works to no one. Who could trace out his mighty deeds? 5Who could measure the strength of his majesty? Who could also proclaim his mercies? 6As for the wondrous works of the Lord, it is not possible to take from them nor add to them, neither is it possible to explore them. 7When a man has finished, then he is just at the beginning. When he stops, then he will be perplexed. 8What is mankind, and what purpose do they serve? What is their good, and what is their evil? 9The number of man’s days at the most are a hundred years. 10As a drop of water from the sea, and a pebble from the sand, so are a few years in the day of eternity. 11For this cause the Lord was patient over them, and poured out his mercy upon them. 12He saw and perceived their end, that it is evil. Therefore he multiplied his forgiveness. 13The mercy of a man is on his neighbor; but the mercy of the Lord is on all flesh: reproving, chastening, teaching, and bringing back, as a shepherd does his flock. 14He has mercy on those who accept chastening, and that diligently seek after his judgments. 15My son, don’t add reproach to your good deeds, and no harsh words in any of your giving. 16Doesn’t the dew relieve the scorching heat? So a word is better than a gift.

Sirach begins by humbling us before a God whose works can never be traced out or measured, next to whom our few years are like a single drop drawn from the sea. And out of that greatness comes patience and mercy: the Lord is mercy to all flesh, correcting and teaching and bringing them back like a shepherd with his flock. Then, at the end, a very practical word: do not add reproach to your good deeds, or harsh words to any gift you give, for a kind word is better than a gift.

That last counsel strikes close to home. It is possible to give something and ruin it with the way you give it, to attach a reproach, a sigh, a cutting remark, so that the gift wounds even as it helps. Sirach says the manner matters as much as the substance; a kind word is worth more than the gift itself, and both together are the mark of a gracious person. How I give can bless or bruise. A generous act delivered with a grudging or reproachful word is only half a gift, and sometimes not even that. The dew that relieves the heat, he says, is the kind word, not just the thing handed over.

Do I spoil my giving with reproach or grudging words, when a kind word is worth more than the gift, and both belong together?

Sources

Sirach 18:15: My son, don't add reproach to your good deeds, and no harsh words in any of your giving.
Sirach 18:16: Doesn't the dew relieve the scorching heat? So a word is better than a gift.
Sirach 18:13: the mercy of the Lord is on all flesh: reproving, chastening, teaching, and bringing back, as a shepherd does his flock.