1 Maccabees 10:1-6: in context

Two rival kings, Demetrius and Alexander, are fighting for the throne, and suddenly both of them start courting Jonathan, the leader of the Jews, whom they had previously treated as an enemy. Here it is Demetrius who moves first. Fearing that Jonathan might side with his rival, Demetrius sends him a letter full of warm words and honor, and grants him remarkable concessions: authority to raise an army, to make weapons, to be called an ally, and the release of the hostages held in the citadel. It looks like a great honor suddenly bestowed. But the text tells us plainly why Demetrius did it: let us make peace with them first, he reasoned, before Jonathan makes peace with Alexander against us. The sudden honor was pure calculation.

That is worth seeing clearly, because it is a very common kind of favor. Demetrius had done real evil to Jonathan and his people before, and nothing about his character had changed. What changed was that he now needed Jonathan, and the moment he needed him, the insults turned into flattery and the hostility into generous offers. It was not respect or a change of heart; it was fear dressed up as honor. The warmth would last exactly as long as the need did, and no longer. Jonathan was being courted not because he was valued but because he was useful in a fight between two men who cared nothing for him.

That is a discernment worth having, because I am susceptible to exactly this. When someone who has shown me little regard suddenly becomes warm, generous, and flattering, it is easy to be pleased and drawn in, to mistake the sudden favor for genuine esteem. Often it is Demetrius's move: attention that flows to me only because I have become useful to someone's purpose, and that would vanish the moment I stopped being. When someone's warmth toward me arrives suddenly and conveniently, can I tell whether it is genuine or is really about what they need from me, and am I being flattered into something I would see through if I looked at the motive?