Psalms 35:1-16: a reflection

1Contend, LORD, with those who contend with me. Fight against those who fight against me. 2Take hold of shield and buckler, and stand up for my help. 3Brandish the spear and block those who pursue me. Tell my soul, “I am your salvation.” 4Let those who seek after my soul be disappointed and brought to dishonor. Let those who plot my ruin be turned back and confounded. 5Let them be as chaff before the wind, the LORD’s angel driving them on. 6Let their way be dark and slippery, the LORD’s angel pursuing them. 7For without cause they have hidden their net in a pit for me. Without cause they have dug a pit for my soul. 8Let destruction come on him unawares. Let his net that he has hidden catch himself. Let him fall into that destruction. 9My soul shall be joyful in the LORD. It shall rejoice in his salvation. 10All my bones shall say, “LORD, who is like you, who delivers the poor from him who is too strong for him; yes, the poor and the needy from him who robs him?” 11Unrighteous witnesses rise up. They ask me about things that I don’t know about. 12They reward me evil for good, to the bereaving of my soul. 13But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth. I afflicted my soul with fasting. My prayer returned into my own bosom. 14I behaved myself as though it had been my friend or my brother. I bowed down mourning, as one who mourns his mother. 15But in my adversity, they rejoiced, and gathered themselves together. The attackers gathered themselves together against me, and I didn’t know it. They tore at me, and didn’t cease. 16Like the profane mockers in feasts, they gnashed their teeth at me.

David cries out to God against those who attack him without cause, asking God to contend with those who contend with him, to be his defender. But the sharpest pain in this psalm is not the attack itself; it is who is attacking. These are people David had loved and cared for. When they were sick, he says, I wore sackcloth; I afflicted myself with fasting; I prayed for them; I went about mourning as though for a friend or a brother. And now, in his own adversity, they rejoice and gather against him. They repaid him evil for good.

Notice the particular wound David feels: he is repaid evil for the good he had done. He had prayed and mourned for these people in their trouble, treating them as dear friends; and now they turn on him, glad at his distress. There is a special pain in this, the pain of betrayal, of kindness returned with cruelty, of love answered by those you loved with hostility. It cuts deeper than the hostility of a stranger.

That pain is one many know, and David shows us what to do with it. He does not take his revenge; he brings the hurt to God, asking God to contend for him, to be his defender and his salvation. When you are wounded by betrayal, repaid evil for good by those you cared for, do not nurse the bitterness or take revenge into your own hands. Bring the specific hurt to God, as David did. Tell him honestly how it wounds you, and entrust the matter to him who sees, who contends for his people, and who will set things right. Let God be your defender, rather than avenging yourself; and let the God who was himself repaid evil for good hold your wounded heart.

Lord, David felt the sharp pain of betrayal: he had prayed and mourned for these people in their trouble, and now they rejoiced at his distress, repaying him evil for good. When I feel that same wound, the pain of kindness returned with cruelty, of being turned on by those I cared for, meet me as you met David. Keep me from nursing bitterness or taking revenge into my own hands. Help me bring the specific hurt to you, telling you honestly how it wounds me, and entrusting the matter to you who see, who contend for your people, and who will set things right. Be my defender, so that I need not avenge myself. And thank you that Christ himself was repaid evil for good; you understand this wound. Hold my wounded heart, and help me trust you to right what was wronged.