1 Samuel 4:12-16: a reflection

12A man of Benjamin ran out of the army and came to Shiloh the same day, with his clothes torn and with dirt on his head. 13When he came, behold, Eli was sitting on his seat by the road watching, for his heart trembled for God’s ark. When the man came into the city and told about it, all the city cried out. 14When Eli heard the noise of the crying, he said, “What does the noise of this tumult mean?” The man hurried, and came and told Eli. 15Now Eli was ninety-eight years old. His eyes were set, so that he could not see. 16The man said to Eli, “I am he who came out of the army, and I fled today out of the army.” He said, “How did the matter go, my son?”

As the battle against the Philistines rages, a messenger runs from the front line to Shiloh, his clothes torn and dust on his head, the marks of disaster. And there sits Eli, old and blind, ninety-eight years old, waiting by the road. The account tells us why he sat there watching: his heart trembled for the ark of God. Whatever his many failures as a priest and father, in this moment Eli's deepest anxiety was for the ark, the sign of God's presence among his people.

Notice what Eli's heart trembled for: the ark of God. He was not, in this moment, anxious first for his sons, or for the fate of the army, or for himself, but for the ark, for the honor and presence of God among his people. Whatever else was true of Eli, and much was not good, his heart in this moment was set trembling on the things of God. It is a revealing thing, what our hearts tremble for.

That is a question worth turning on ourselves. When we are anxious, what is it we most fear losing? What does our heart tremble for? For many things, perhaps, our security, our loved ones, our reputation, our comfort. But does it tremble, as Eli's did, for the things of God, for his honor, his presence, his cause? What we most fear losing reveals what we most treasure. Ask what your heart trembles for, and whether the honor and presence of God are among the things you hold most dear. Let your heart learn to care deeply for the things of God, so that his honor and presence are among your deepest concerns, not an afterthought.

Lord, old and blind, Eli sat watching, and the account says his heart trembled for the ark of God; whatever his failures, his deepest anxiety in that moment was for your presence and honor among your people. Turn that question on me. When I am anxious, what do I most fear losing? What does my heart tremble for? For my security, my loved ones, my reputation, my comfort, perhaps. But does it tremble, as Eli's did, for the things of you, for your honor, your presence, your cause? What I most fear losing reveals what I most treasure. Teach my heart to care deeply for the things of you, so that your honor and presence are among my deepest concerns, not an afterthought. Let me treasure you above all, and let my heart tremble most for what matters most, the honor and presence of my God.