1 Chronicles 19:1-5: a reflection

1After this, Nahash the king of the children of Ammon died, and his son reigned in his place. 2David said, “I will show kindness to Hanun the son of Nahash, because his father showed kindness to me.” So David sent messengers to comfort him concerning his father. David’s servants came into the land of the children of Ammon to Hanun to comfort him. 3But the princes of the children of Ammon said to Hanun, “Do you think that David honors your father, in that he has sent comforters to you? Haven’t his servants come to you to search, to overthrow, and to spy out the land?” 4So Hanun took David’s servants, shaved them, and cut off their garments in the middle at their buttocks, and sent them away. 5Then some people went and told David how the men were treated. He sent to meet them; for the men were greatly humiliated. The king said, “Stay at Jericho until your beards have grown, and then return.”

David, wishing to repay a past kindness, sends messengers to comfort Hanun, the new king of Ammon, on the death of his father. But Hanun's advisors persuade him that the envoys are spies, and so, instead of receiving the kindness, Hanun humiliates David's men, shaving off half their beards and cutting their garments, and sends them away in disgrace. When David hears how his men have been shamed, he does a tender thing: rather than making them return in their humiliation, he tells them to stay at Jericho until their beards have grown back.

Notice David's sensitivity to his men's shame. They had been publicly humiliated, and David could have simply summoned them home at once; but he understood their disgrace, and so he gave them time and space to recover their dignity before they returned. He did not make light of their shame or hurry them past it; he was tender toward it, arranging for them to recover out of sight until they could return without humiliation.

That is a picture of a compassion sensitive to others' shame. People around us are sometimes humiliated, brought low, made to feel disgraced; and we can be careless of their shame, hurrying them past it or making light of it. But David's tenderness gave his men space and time to recover their dignity. Be sensitive, as David was, to the shame others feel. Do not make light of another's humiliation or force them to face the world before they are ready. Give people space to recover their dignity, handle their shame with gentleness, and protect rather than expose those who have been brought low. A compassion attentive to others' shame is a tender and Christlike thing.

Lord, when David's envoys were publicly humiliated, he did not make them return in their disgrace, but tenderly told them to stay until they had recovered their dignity. Give me that same sensitivity to others' shame. People around me are sometimes humiliated, brought low, made to feel disgraced; and I can be careless of their shame, hurrying them past it or making light of it. But David gave his men space and time to recover. Help me be sensitive, as he was, to the shame others feel. Keep me from making light of another's humiliation or forcing them to face the world before they are ready. Help me give people space to recover their dignity, handle their shame with gentleness, and protect rather than expose those who have been brought low. Make me tender toward the shame of others, as you are tender toward mine.