1 Samuel 19:6-14: a reflection

6Saul listened to the voice of Jonathan; and Saul swore, “As the LORD lives, he shall not be put to death.” 7Jonathan called David, and Jonathan showed him all those things. Then Jonathan brought David to Saul, and he was in his presence as before. 8There was war again. David went out and fought with the Philistines, and killed them with a great slaughter; and they fled before him. 9An evil spirit from the LORD was on Saul as he sat in his house with his spear in his hand; and David was playing music with his hand. 10Saul sought to pin David to the wall with the spear, but he slipped away out of Saul’s presence; and he stuck the spear into the wall. David fled and escaped that night. 11Saul sent messengers to David’s house to watch him and to kill him in the morning. Michal, David’s wife, told him, saying, “If you don’t save your life tonight, tomorrow you will be killed.” 12So Michal let David down through the window. He went away, fled, and escaped. 13Michal took the teraphim and laid it in the bed, and put a pillow of goats’ hair at its head and covered it with clothes. 14When Saul sent messengers to take David, she said, “He is sick.”

For a time, Saul's murderous hatred of David is calmed. Persuaded by his son Jonathan, Saul even swears an oath: As the LORD lives, he shall not be put to death. And David returns to serve in Saul's presence as before. But it does not last. When David wins fresh victories, Saul's jealousy flares up again; the old resentment returns, and once more he hurls a spear at David, trying to kill him, so that David must flee for his life. The envy that had been calmed had not been rooted out, and it rose again.

Notice that Saul's jealousy, though calmed for a time, returned. He had sworn not to harm David, and for a while the resentment subsided; but it had not been dealt with at its root, only suppressed, and so it flared again at the next provocation. His envy was like a fire banked but not extinguished; it needed only fresh fuel, another of David's successes, to blaze up again as fierce as before.

That is a warning about how jealousy and resentment work in our own hearts. We may think an envy or a grudge has passed, because it has quieted for a time; but if it has only been suppressed and not truly rooted out, it will return at the next provocation, as strong as ever. Feelings merely pushed down do not stay down. Do not be content to have your jealousy or resentment merely calmed for a season; deal with it at the root. Bring your envy to God, confess it, ask him to remove it, and forgive from the heart, so that it is not merely suppressed but truly rooted out. A resentment only calmed will rise again, as Saul's did; seek to be free of it, not merely quiet for a while.

Lord, Saul's hatred of David was calmed for a time, and he even swore not to harm him; but his jealousy had only been suppressed, not rooted out, and it flared up again at David's next success, driving him to violence. Warn me about how envy and resentment work in my own heart. I may think a jealousy or a grudge has passed because it has quieted for a time; but if it has only been suppressed and not truly dealt with, it will return at the next provocation, as strong as ever. Keep me from being content to have my resentment merely calmed for a season. Help me deal with it at the root: to bring my envy to you, confess it, ask you to remove it, and forgive from the heart, so that it is not merely suppressed but truly rooted out. A resentment only calmed will rise again, as Saul's did; make me free of it, not merely quiet for a while. Cleanse my heart of envy, Lord.