Nehemiah 1:1-11: a reflection

1The words of Nehemiah the son of Hacaliah. Now in the month Chislev, in the twentieth year, as I was in Susa the palace, 2Hanani, one of my brothers, came, he and certain men out of Judah; and I asked them about the Jews who had escaped, who were left of the captivity, and concerning Jerusalem. 3They said to me, “The remnant who are left of the captivity there in the province are in great affliction and reproach. The wall of Jerusalem is also broken down, and its gates are burned with fire.” 4When I heard these words, I sat down and wept, and mourned several days; and I fasted and prayed before the God of heaven, 5and said, “I beg you, LORD, the God of heaven, the great and awesome God who keeps covenant and loving kindness with those who love him and keep his commandments, 6let your ear now be attentive and your eyes open, that you may listen to the prayer of your servant which I pray before you at this time, day and night, for the children of Israel your servants, while I confess the sins of the children of Israel which we have sinned against you. Yes, I and my father’s house have sinned. 7We have dealt very corruptly against you, and have not kept the commandments, nor the statutes, nor the ordinances, which you commanded your servant Moses. 8“Remember, I beg you, the word that you commanded your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you trespass, I will scatter you among the peoples; 9but if you return to me, and keep my commandments and do them, though your outcasts were in the uttermost part of the heavens, yet I will gather them from there, and will bring them to the place that I have chosen, to cause my name to dwell there.’ 10“Now these are your servants and your people, whom you have redeemed by your great power and by your strong hand. 11Lord, I beg you, let your ear be attentive now to the prayer of your servant, and to the prayer of your servants who delight to fear your name; and please prosper your servant today, and grant him mercy in the sight of this man.” Now I was cup bearer to the king.

Nehemiah, comfortable in the Persian court, gets news that Jerusalem's walls are broken and its people in distress, and watch his response. He does not immediately draft a plan or spring into action. First he sits down and weeps, then mourns for days, fasting and praying before God. The burden drives him to his knees before it drives him to work.

Notice, too, how he prays. He confesses sin, and not at arm's length: I confess the sins we have sinned against you, he prays; yes, I and my father's house have sinned. He does not stand apart from his people's failure and point at them; he includes himself, owning the sin as his own. And he appeals to God's own covenant promise, holding God to his word, before ever mentioning the practical help he will need with the king.

There is a pattern here for how to carry a burden well. When something breaks your heart, about your family, your community, God's people, the first move is not action but prayer, and prayer that owns its share of the failure rather than only accusing others, and that leans on God's promises. Nehemiah will act, and boldly, but he begins on his knees. Bring your burden first to God, confess your own part honestly, hold onto his promises, and let the action flow from there.

Lord, when a burden breaks my heart, let me bring it first to you rather than rushing to act. Teach me to pray like Nehemiah, owning my own share of the failure, leaning on your promises, and letting my action flow from my knees.