2 Samuel 12:19-23: a reflection

19But when David saw that his servants were whispering together, David perceived that the child was dead; and David said to his servants, “Is the child dead?” They said, “He is dead.” 20Then David arose from the earth, and washed and anointed himself, and changed his clothing; and he came into the LORD’s house, and worshiped. Then he came to his own house; and when he requested, they set bread before him and he ate. 21Then his servants said to him, “What is this that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive, but when the child was dead, you rose up and ate bread.” 22He said, “While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, ‘Who knows whether the LORD will not be gracious to me, that the child may live?’ 23But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.”

David's infant son, born of his sin, has fallen gravely ill, and while the child lived, David fasted and wept and pleaded with God for the child's life. But when the child dies, David does something his servants find baffling: he rises, washes, worships in the house of the LORD, and then eats. Asked why, he explains: while the child lived, he prayed, for who knew whether God might be gracious; but now that the child is dead, he accepts it, and he adds, I will go to him, but he will not return to me.

Notice two things in David's grief. First, when he could no longer change what had happened, he turned to worship rather than to despair; he accepted what God had allowed, and worshiped him even in his loss. And second, he held onto a hope that reached beyond the grave: I will go to him. Though his child would not return to him in this life, David trusted that he would one day go to be with the child. His grief was real, but it was met with worship and with hope.

That is a model for grief, and a comfort. When we face losses we cannot undo, we can sink into despair, or we can, like David, accept what we cannot change and turn to worship, trusting the God who allowed it. And for those who grieve a child, or any loved one who has died, David's hope points toward the greater hope we have in Christ: that death is not the final separation, that we will go to them. When grief comes and you cannot change what has happened, turn to worship rather than despair, and hold onto the hope of reunion beyond the grave. You will go to them; grieve, but grieve in hope, trusting the God who holds both the living and the dead.

Lord, when David's child died, he rose from his grief to worship you, accepting what he could not change, and held onto the hope that though the child would not return to him, he would go to the child. Teach me from his grief. When I face losses I cannot undo, keep me from sinking into despair; help me, like David, to accept what I cannot change and turn to worship, trusting you who allowed it. And thank you that David's hope points to the greater hope we have in Christ: that death is not the final separation, that we will go to those who have died in you. When grief comes and I cannot change what has happened, help me turn to worship rather than despair, and hold onto the hope of reunion beyond the grave. Help me grieve, but grieve in hope, trusting you who hold both the living and the dead. Thank you for a hope that reaches beyond death.