Mark 9:28-32: a reflection

28When he had come into the house, his disciples asked him privately, “Why couldn’t we cast it out?” 29He said to them, “This kind can come out by nothing but by prayer and fasting.” 30They went out from there and passed through Galilee. He didn’t want anyone to know it, 31for he was teaching his disciples, and said to them, “The Son of Man is being handed over to the hands of men, and they will kill him; and when he is killed, on the third day he will rise again.” 32But they didn’t understand the saying, and were afraid to ask him.

After Jesus foretells his coming death and resurrection, Mark notes the disciples' response: But they did not understand the saying, and were afraid to ask him. They were confused by what Jesus said, unable to grasp it; yet rather than bring their confusion to him and ask him to explain, they kept silent, afraid to ask. Their lack of understanding was left unaddressed, because they would not voice their questions.

Notice the disciples' mistake: they did not understand, and they were afraid to ask. They had the Teacher right there with them, able to explain what confused them; but fear kept them from asking, and so they remained in their confusion. Perhaps they feared looking foolish, or feared the answer; whatever it was, their fear kept them from the understanding that asking might have brought. They stayed in the dark rather than admit they did not understand.

That is a mistake we can easily make with God. We may be confused about something, unsure, full of unspoken questions, and yet be reluctant to bring them honestly to God, whether out of fear, or a sense that we should not question, or embarrassment at not understanding. And so we stay in our confusion. But God is not offended by our honest questions; he invites us to bring them. Do not, like the disciples, stay silent in your confusion out of fear. Bring your honest questions and confusions to God; ask him, seek understanding, admit what you do not grasp. It is better to ask honestly than to remain in the dark; God welcomes those who come to him with their real questions, and would rather have us ask than stay silent and confused.

Lord, when Jesus foretold his death and resurrection, the disciples did not understand, but were afraid to ask him, and so they stayed in their confusion. Keep me from that same mistake with you. I can be confused about something, unsure, full of unspoken questions, and yet reluctant to bring them honestly to you, whether out of fear, or a sense that I should not question, or embarrassment at not understanding. And so I stay in my confusion. But you are not offended by my honest questions; you invite me to bring them. Help me not, like the disciples, to stay silent in my confusion out of fear. Help me bring my honest questions and confusions to you, to ask you, to seek understanding, to admit what I do not grasp. It is better to ask honestly than to remain in the dark; thank you that you welcome those who come to you with their real questions. Help me ask, rather than stay silent and confused.