Matthew 27:1-5: a reflection

1Now when morning had come, all the chief priests and the elders of the people took counsel against Jesus to put him to death. 2They bound him, led him away, and delivered him up to Pontius Pilate, the governor. 3Then Judas, who betrayed him, when he saw that Jesus was condemned, felt remorse, and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, 4saying, “I have sinned in that I betrayed innocent blood.” But they said, “What is that to us? You see to it.” 5He threw down the pieces of silver in the sanctuary and departed. Then he went away and hanged himself.

When Judas, who had betrayed Jesus, sees that Jesus has been condemned, he is seized with remorse. He brings back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests, confessing, I have sinned, in betraying innocent blood. He recognizes his sin, and he feels its weight. But the priests are indifferent: What is that to us? See to it yourself. And Judas, overwhelmed, throws down the silver and goes away and takes his own life. His remorse was real, but it ended in despair.

Notice the tragedy in Judas's response. He was not without conscience; he recognized his sin clearly, and felt genuine remorse, even trying to undo it by returning the money. But his remorse did not lead him to turn to God for mercy; it collapsed into despair. He saw his sin, but he did not seek forgiveness; he was overwhelmed by guilt, and gave up. There is a great difference between remorse that despairs and repentance that turns to God, and Judas took the tragic path of despair.

That difference is worth taking to heart. Remorse over sin is not the same as repentance. Remorse feels the weight of sin and may collapse into despair; repentance feels the weight of sin and turns to God for mercy. Even the gravest sin can find forgiveness if we turn to God rather than give up; there was mercy available even for Judas, had he sought it. When you are burdened by the weight of your sin, do not let remorse drive you to despair, as it drove Judas. Let it drive you instead to God, who forgives. No sin is too great for his mercy if you turn to him; do not give up in despair, but turn to the God who receives and forgives the repentant, however deep their guilt.

Lord, when Judas saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and confessed his sin, but his remorse did not lead him to turn to you for mercy; it collapsed into despair. Take that tragedy to my heart. Remorse over sin is not the same as repentance. Remorse feels the weight of sin and may collapse into despair; repentance feels the weight of sin and turns to you for mercy. Even the gravest sin can find forgiveness if I turn to you rather than give up; there was mercy available even for Judas, had he sought it. When I am burdened by the weight of my sin, do not let remorse drive me to despair, as it drove Judas. Let it drive me instead to you, who forgive. No sin is too great for your mercy if I turn to you; keep me from giving up in despair, and help me turn to you, who receive and forgive the repentant, however deep their guilt. Thank you that there is mercy for me if I turn to you.