Tobit 6:13-17: a reflection

13Then the young man said to the angel, “Brother Azarias, I have heard that this maid has been given to seven men, and that they all perished in the bride-chamber. 14Now I am the only son of my father, and I am afraid, lest I go in and die, even as those before me. For a demon loves her, which harms no man, but those which come to her. Now I fear lest I die, and bring my father’s and my mother’s life to the grave with sorrow because of me. They have no other son to bury them.” 15But the angel said to him, “Don’t you remember the words which your father commanded you, that you should take a wife of your own kindred? Now hear me, brother; for she will be your wife. Don’t worry about the demon; for this night she will be given you as wife. 16And when you come into the bride-chamber, you shall take the ashes of incense, and shall lay upon them some of the heart and liver of the fish, and shall make smoke with them. 17The demon will smell it, and flee away, and never come again any more. But when you go near to her, both of you rise up, and cry to God who is merciful. He will save you, and have mercy on you. Don’t be afraid, for she was prepared for you from the beginning; and you will save her, and she will go with you. And I suppose that you will have children with her.” When Tobias heard these things, he loved her, and his soul was strongly joined to her.

In this account, the young man Tobias is afraid. He is to marry Sarah, but he has heard that harm has come to those who tried to marry her before, and he fears the same fate. His companion, who is God's angel in disguise, does not dismiss his fear, but tells him what to do: do not be afraid; and when you go in, both of you rise and cry to God, who is merciful; he will save you and have mercy on you. Tobias is to meet his fear not by avoiding the marriage, but by turning to God in prayer.

Notice how Tobias is counseled to face his fear: not by fleeing from what frightens him, but by turning to God in prayer, trusting God's mercy. He is afraid, and his fear is not unreasonable; but he is told not to be ruled by it, and to cry out to the merciful God who saves. The remedy for his fear is not avoidance, but prayer and trust in God.

That is a wise way to handle our own fears. We often meet what frightens us by avoiding it, letting fear rule us and keep us from what we are called to. But Tobias was counseled to face his fear by turning to God, crying out to the merciful God who saves. When you are afraid, do not simply flee from what frightens you, or let fear govern your choices. Turn to God in prayer; cry out to the merciful God who saves; trust his mercy in the face of your fear. Meet your fears not with avoidance, but with prayer and trust in God, who is merciful and able to save. Do not be afraid, but pray, and let your fears drive you to God rather than away from what he calls you to.

Lord, when the young man Tobias was afraid, he was counseled not to flee from what frightened him, but to turn to you in prayer, to cry out to the merciful God who saves. Teach me that wise way of handling my own fears. I often meet what frightens me by avoiding it, letting fear rule me and keep me from what I am called to. But Tobias was told to face his fear by turning to you, crying out to your mercy. When I am afraid, keep me from simply fleeing what frightens me, or letting fear govern my choices. Help me turn to you in prayer, to cry out to the merciful God who saves, and to trust your mercy in the face of my fear. Help me meet my fears not with avoidance, but with prayer and trust in you, who are merciful and able to save. Let my fears drive me to you, rather than away from what you call me to. Do not let me be ruled by fear, but by trust in you.