2 Samuel 3:31-39: a reflection

31David said to Joab and to all the people who were with him, “Tear your clothes, and clothe yourselves with sackcloth, and mourn in front of Abner.” King David followed the bier. 32They buried Abner in Hebron; and the king lifted up his voice and wept at Abner’s grave; and all the people wept. 33The king lamented for Abner, and said, “Should Abner die as a fool dies? 34Your hands weren’t bound, and your feet weren’t put into fetters. As a man falls before the children of iniquity, so you fell.” All the people wept again over him. 35All the people came to urge David to eat bread while it was yet day; but David swore, saying, “God do so to me, and more also, if I taste bread or anything else, until the sun goes down.” 36All the people took notice of it, and it pleased them, as whatever the king did pleased all the people. 37So all the people and all Israel understood that day that it was not of the king to kill Abner the son of Ner. 38The king said to his servants, “Don’t you know that a prince and a great man has fallen today in Israel? 39I am weak today, though anointed king. These men, the sons of Zeruiah are too hard for me. May the LORD reward the evildoer according to his wickedness.”

Abner, the commander of the rival house, had come over to David's side to make peace; but Joab, David's own commander, treacherously murdered him. David's response is telling. Though Abner had been an enemy, and though his death removed a rival, David openly and sincerely mourns him: he leads the mourning, weeps at the grave, laments over him, fasts, and makes clear to all the people that he had no part in this killing. A prince and a great man, he says, has fallen this day.

Notice that David publicly repudiated a wrong done by his own side, even though it benefited him. Joab's murder of Abner removed a rival and might have seemed convenient for David; a lesser man might have quietly accepted the benefit and said nothing. But David would not condone the treachery, even though it was done by his own commander and worked to his advantage. He grieved sincerely, honored the fallen man, and made clear he had no part in the wrong.

That is a rare integrity. It is one thing to condemn wrong done by our opponents; it is harder to repudiate wrong done by our own side, especially when it benefits us. There is a temptation to quietly accept, or even condone, wrongs committed on our behalf or by those on our side, because we gain from them. But David would not; he distanced himself clearly from the wrong, even at cost to himself. Do not condone or quietly benefit from wrong done on your side, or on your behalf, simply because it works to your advantage. Have the integrity to repudiate wrong wherever it is done, even by your own, and even when it benefits you, as David repudiated the murder of Abner.

Lord, when David's own commander treacherously murdered Abner, David openly mourned him and made clear he had no part in the wrong, even though Abner's death removed a rival and might have benefited him; he would not condone the treachery done by his own side. Give me that rare integrity. It is one thing to condemn wrong done by my opponents; it is harder to repudiate wrong done by my own side, especially when it benefits me. There is a temptation to quietly accept, or even condone, wrongs committed on my behalf or by those on my side, because I gain from them. But David would not; he distanced himself clearly from the wrong, even at cost to himself. Keep me from condoning or quietly benefiting from wrong done on my side, or on my behalf, simply because it works to my advantage. Give me the integrity to repudiate wrong wherever it is done, even by my own, and even when it benefits me, as David repudiated the murder of Abner. Let me love justice more than my own advantage.