1 Samuel 15:12-16: a reflection

12Samuel rose early to meet Saul in the morning; and Samuel was told, saying, “Saul came to Carmel, and behold, he set up a monument for himself, turned, passed on, and went down to Gilgal.” 13Samuel came to Saul; and Saul said to him, “You are blessed by the LORD! I have performed the commandment of the LORD.” 14Samuel said, “Then what does this bleating of the sheep in my ears and the lowing of the cattle which I hear mean?” 15Saul said, “They have brought them from the Amalekites; for the people spared the best of the sheep and of the cattle, to sacrifice to the LORD your God. We have utterly destroyed the rest.” 16Then Samuel said to Saul, “Stay, and I will tell you what the LORD said to me last night.” He said to him, “Say on.”

Saul comes back from battle and greets Samuel confidently: blessed are you; I have carried out the command of the LORD. There is just one problem, and Samuel names it dryly: then what is this bleating of sheep in my ears, and the lowing of cattle that I hear? Saul had been told to devote everything to destruction, and instead he kept the best of the livestock. His claim of full obedience is contradicted by the noise of the very animals he spared.

Notice the self-deception. Saul seems genuinely to believe, or wants to believe, that he obeyed, even as the evidence bleats in the background. And notice what else he had done first: set up a monument to himself. Partial obedience, dressed up as full obedience, propped up with self-congratulation, while the truth is audible to anyone listening. His own kept sheep betray him.

That is a mirror worth looking into. It is possible to convince ourselves we have obeyed God fully when we have kept back the part we wanted, to call selective obedience faithfulness, and even to feel good about ourselves while doing it. But the bleating sheep tell the truth. Where have you claimed obedience while quietly keeping back the piece you did not want to surrender? God is not deceived by the confident report; he hears the sheep. Better to face the truth your own life is telling than to insist, over the bleating, that you have done all he asked.

Lord, keep me from Saul's self-deception, calling partial obedience full and congratulating myself while the truth bleats in the background. Show me where I have kept back the piece I did not want to surrender, and give me the honesty to obey you fully, not selectively.