Ephesians 5:22-33: a reflection

22Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body. 24But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their own husbands in everything. 25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for her, 26that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27that he might present the assembly to himself gloriously, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without defect. 28Even so husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. 29For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord also does the assembly, 30because we are members of his body, of his flesh and bones. 31“For this cause a man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife. Then the two will become one flesh.” 32This mystery is great, but I speak concerning Christ and the assembly. 33Nevertheless each of you must also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Paul writes about marriage, and he lifts it to a height we might not expect: he says it is a picture of something greater, the relationship between Christ and his church. Husbands, he says, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. And he adds: This mystery is profound, but I am speaking about Christ and the church. Beneath his words about marriage, Paul is really pointing us to the sacrificial love of Christ for his people.

Notice the love Paul holds up as the pattern: Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. This is self-giving love at its fullest, a love that does not seek its own but sacrifices itself for the good of the beloved. Christ did not merely feel affection for his church; he gave himself up for her, to cleanse her, to make her holy, to present her to himself in glory. And this sacrificial love is the pattern for love in marriage, and the deeper reality that marriage is meant to reflect.

That draws our eyes to the love of Christ for his people. Whatever our own situation, married or not, this passage points us to the profound love of Christ for his church: a love that gave itself up for her, that cleanses and sanctifies her, that will present her to himself in glory. If you belong to Christ, you are loved with this love, a love that gave itself for you and is committed to making you holy and presenting you at last without spot. Marvel at, and rest in, the sacrificial love of Christ for his church. Let it be the pattern for how you love others, giving yourself for their good as Christ gave himself; and let it be your deepest comfort, that you are loved by Christ with a love that gave itself up for you.

Lord, Paul lifts marriage to a height by making it a picture of the relationship between Christ and his church, calling husbands to love as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her; and he says the profound mystery he is really speaking of is Christ and the church. Draw my eyes to the love of Christ for his people. Christ did not merely feel affection for his church; he gave himself up for her, to cleanse her, to make her holy, to present her to himself in glory. Thank you that if I belong to Christ, I am loved with this love, a love that gave itself for me and is committed to making me holy. Help me marvel at, and rest in, the sacrificial love of Christ for his church. Let it be the pattern for how I love others, giving myself for their good as Christ gave himself; and let it be my deepest comfort, that I am loved by Christ with a love that gave itself up for me. Thank you for so great a love.