Proverbs 17:17-28: a reflection

17A friend loves at all times; and a brother is born for adversity. 18A man void of understanding strikes hands, and becomes collateral in the presence of his neighbor. 19He who loves disobedience loves strife. One who builds a high gate seeks destruction. 20One who has a perverse heart doesn’t find prosperity, and one who has a deceitful tongue falls into trouble. 21He who becomes the father of a fool grieves. The father of a fool has no joy. 22A cheerful heart makes good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. 23A wicked man receives a bribe in secret, to pervert the ways of justice. 24Wisdom is before the face of one who has understanding, but the eyes of a fool wander to the ends of the earth. 25A foolish son brings grief to his father, and bitterness to her who bore him. 26Also to punish the righteous is not good, nor to flog officials for their integrity. 27He who spares his words has knowledge. He who is even tempered is a man of understanding. 28Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is counted wise. When he shuts his lips, he is thought to be discerning.

Among these proverbs are two about the wisdom of restraint in speech. The one who restrains his words has knowledge, and one who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. And even more strikingly: Even a fool who keeps silent is thought wise; when he shuts his lips, he is considered discerning. The wise are marked by restraint in speech, holding their words, keeping a cool spirit; and such restraint is a mark of understanding, so much so that even a fool who says nothing may be taken for wise.

Notice the value the proverbs place on restraint in speech. The one who restrains his words, who does not speak everything that comes to mind, who keeps a cool spirit rather than blurting out, shows knowledge and understanding. And the striking observation that even a fool is thought wise when he keeps silent underscores how much unwise speech reveals folly, and how much restraint protects us; the one who holds his tongue, even when he might say something foolish, is spared exposing his folly, and appears discerning.

That wisdom of restraint in speech is worth cultivating, for we are often too quick to speak. We can blurt out our thoughts, speak everything that comes to mind, react without restraint; and much folly and harm come from unrestrained speech. But the proverbs commend restraint: the one who holds his words, who keeps a cool spirit, shows understanding. Cultivate restraint in your speech; do not blurt out everything that comes to mind, or react without a cool spirit. There is wisdom in holding your tongue, in speaking less and more carefully; even a fool who keeps silent is thought wise. Learn to restrain your words, to keep a cool spirit, to hold your tongue rather than speaking everything at once; such restraint is a mark of understanding, and it protects you from the folly and harm that unrestrained speech so often brings. Be slow to speak, restraining your words, as the proverbs commend, rather than blurting out what you would do better to hold.

Lord, among these proverbs are two about the wisdom of restraint in speech: the one who restrains his words has knowledge, and one who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding; and even a fool who keeps silent is thought wise. Show me the value they place on restraint in speech. The one who restrains his words, who does not speak everything that comes to mind, who keeps a cool spirit rather than blurting out, shows knowledge and understanding; and restraint protects us, sparing us from exposing our folly. That wisdom is worth cultivating, for I am often too quick to speak. I can blurt out my thoughts, speak everything that comes to mind, react without restraint; and much folly and harm come from unrestrained speech. But the proverbs commend restraint. Help me cultivate restraint in my speech; keep me from blurting out everything that comes to mind, or reacting without a cool spirit. There is wisdom in holding my tongue, in speaking less and more carefully. Help me learn to restrain my words, to keep a cool spirit, to hold my tongue rather than speaking everything at once; such restraint is a mark of understanding, and it protects me from the folly and harm that unrestrained speech so often brings. Help me be slow to speak, Lord, restraining my words, rather than blurting out what I would do better to hold.