Judges 19:1-8: a reflection

1In those days, when there was no king in Israel, there was a certain Levite living on the farther side of the hill country of Ephraim, who took for himself a concubine out of Bethlehem Judah. 2His concubine played the prostitute against him, and went away from him to her father’s house to Bethlehem Judah, and was there for four months. 3Her husband arose and went after her to speak kindly to her, to bring her again, having his servant with him and a couple of donkeys. She brought him into her father’s house; and when the father of the young lady saw him, he rejoiced to meet him. 4His father-in-law, the young lady’s father, kept him there; and he stayed with him three days. So they ate and drank, and stayed there. 5On the fourth day, they got up early in the morning, and he rose up to depart. The young lady’s father said to his son-in-law, “Strengthen your heart with a morsel of bread, and afterward you shall go your way.” 6So they sat down, ate, and drank, both of them together. Then the young lady’s father said to the man, “Please be pleased to stay all night, and let your heart be merry.” 7The man rose up to depart; but his father-in-law urged him, and he stayed there again. 8He arose early in the morning on the fifth day to depart; and the young lady’s father said, “Please strengthen your heart and stay until the day declines;” and they both ate.

This passage opens a dark chapter in Israel's history, but it begins with an act of attempted reconciliation. A Levite's concubine has left him and returned to her father's house; and rather than let the estrangement stand, the man arose and went after her to speak kindly to her, to bring her back. He took the initiative to seek out the one estranged from him, to speak kindly rather than harshly, and to try to restore the broken relationship.

Notice the initiative toward reconciliation. The relationship was broken; the concubine had left. The man could have let the estrangement stand, nursing his grievance, waiting for the other to come back. But instead he took the initiative, going after her, seeking to speak kindly, to reconcile, to restore what was broken. He did not wait passively, but acted to seek reconciliation, going to the estranged one with kind words rather than harsh.

That initiative toward reconciliation is worth taking to heart, for we often wait passively when relationships are broken, nursing grievances rather than seeking to restore. When a relationship is estranged, we can let it stand broken, waiting for the other to make the first move, or nursing our hurt; or we can, like this man, take the initiative to seek reconciliation, going to the estranged one to speak kindly and try to restore what is broken. When a relationship in your life is estranged or broken, do not simply let it stand, waiting passively or nursing your grievance; take the initiative, as this man did, to seek reconciliation, going to the estranged one with kind words rather than harsh, seeking to restore what is broken. Reconciliation often requires someone to take the first step; be willing to be the one who takes it, going to seek the estranged, to speak kindly, and to work toward restoring the broken relationship, rather than letting the estrangement stand.

Lord, this passage opens a dark chapter, but it begins with an act of attempted reconciliation: a Levite's concubine had left him, and rather than let the estrangement stand, he arose and went after her to speak kindly to her, to bring her back. Show me the initiative toward reconciliation. The relationship was broken; but the man did not let the estrangement stand, nursing his grievance; instead he took the initiative, going after her, seeking to speak kindly, to restore what was broken. Take that initiative to my heart, for I often wait passively when relationships are broken, nursing grievances rather than seeking to restore. When a relationship is estranged, I can let it stand broken, waiting for the other to make the first move, or nursing my hurt; or I can, like this man, take the initiative to seek reconciliation. When a relationship in my life is estranged or broken, keep me from simply letting it stand, waiting passively or nursing my grievance; help me take the initiative, as this man did, to seek reconciliation, going to the estranged one with kind words rather than harsh. Reconciliation often requires someone to take the first step; make me willing to be the one who takes it, Lord, going to seek the estranged, to speak kindly, and to work toward restoring the broken relationship, rather than letting the estrangement stand.