Genesis 33:1-5: a reflection

1Jacob lifted up his eyes, and looked, and, behold, Esau was coming, and with him four hundred men. He divided the children between Leah, Rachel, and the two servants. 2He put the servants and their children in front, Leah and her children after, and Rachel and Joseph at the rear. 3He himself passed over in front of them, and bowed himself to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother. 4Esau ran to meet him, embraced him, fell on his neck, kissed him, and they wept. 5He lifted up his eyes, and saw the women and the children; and said, “Who are these with you?” He said, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.”

Jacob had wronged his brother Esau years before, and now, returning home, he must face him, and he is afraid. Esau is coming with four hundred men, and Jacob braces for the revenge he expects. But the meeting he dreaded turns out utterly different from his fears: Esau ran to meet him, embraced him, fell on his neck, kissed him, and they wept. Instead of the vengeance Jacob feared, there was embrace, tears, and reconciliation. The dreaded confrontation became a reunion.

Notice the gap between Jacob's fear and what actually happened. He had braced for Esau's revenge, dreading the meeting, imagining the worst; the four hundred men seemed to confirm his fears. But when the moment came, Esau ran to embrace him, weeping, and the two were reconciled. The confrontation Jacob so dreaded turned into a reunion of embrace and tears. God had softened Esau's heart in the years between; the meeting Jacob feared became, instead, a reconciliation.

That gap, between a dreaded confrontation and a reconciliation God can bring, is worth remembering, for we too can dread meetings we imagine will go badly. There are relationships we have wronged or that have gone wrong, confrontations we dread, imagining the worst; and the dread can loom large. But God can soften hearts in ways we do not see, and turn a dreaded meeting into reconciliation, as he turned Esau's expected revenge into an embrace. When you dread a confrontation or a difficult meeting, imagining the worst, do not assume it must go as badly as you fear; God can soften hearts and bring reconciliation where you expected conflict, as he did with Esau. Bring your dreaded meetings to God, who can work in hearts you cannot reach, and do not let fear convince you that reconciliation is impossible; the meeting Jacob dreaded became an embrace and tears, for God had softened the heart Jacob feared.

Lord, Jacob had wronged his brother Esau years before, and now, returning home, he had to face him, and he was afraid. Esau was coming with four hundred men, and Jacob braced for the revenge he expected. But the meeting he dreaded turned out utterly different from his fears: Esau ran to meet him, embraced him, fell on his neck, kissed him, and they wept. Instead of vengeance, there was embrace, tears, and reconciliation. Show me the gap between Jacob's fear and what actually happened. He had braced for Esau's revenge, imagining the worst; but when the moment came, Esau ran to embrace him, and the two were reconciled. You had softened Esau's heart in the years between; the meeting Jacob feared became a reconciliation. Let me remember that gap, between a dreaded confrontation and a reconciliation you can bring, for I too can dread meetings I imagine will go badly. There are relationships I have wronged or that have gone wrong, confrontations I dread; and the dread can loom large. But you can soften hearts in ways I do not see, and turn a dreaded meeting into reconciliation. When I dread a confrontation or a difficult meeting, keep me from assuming it must go as badly as I fear; you can soften hearts and bring reconciliation where I expected conflict. Help me bring my dreaded meetings to you, Lord, who can work in hearts I cannot reach, and keep fear from convincing me that reconciliation is impossible.