Sirach 25:17-26: a reflection

17The wickedness of a woman changes her appearance, and darkens her countenance like that of a bear. 18Her husband will sit among his neighbors, and when he hears it, he sighs bitterly. 19All malice is small compared to the malice of a woman. Let the portion of a sinner fall on her. 20As walking up a sandy hill is to the feet of the aged, so is a wife full of words to a quiet man. 21Don’t be ensnared by a woman’s beauty. Don’t desire a woman for her beauty. 22There is anger, impudence, and great reproach if a woman supports her husband. 23A wicked woman is abasement of heart, sadness of countenance, and a wounded heart. A woman who won’t make her husband happy is like hands that hang down, and weak knees. 24The beginning of sin came from a woman. Because of her, we all die. 25Don’t give water an outlet, and don’t give a wicked woman freedom of speech. 26If she doesn’t go as you direct, cut her away from your flesh.

This passage laments, in strong terms, the grief that comes into a home when one who shares it is full of malice and bitterness. Behind its hard words lies a real and painful truth: a bitter, malicious spirit in a close relationship poisons the whole household, wounding the heart and darkening daily life. The passage feels the weight of living with persistent malice near at hand. And while it speaks of another, its deepest use for us is to turn the searchlight inward: to ask whether we ourselves are a source of such bitterness to those closest to us.

Notice the real pain the passage describes: the grief that malice and bitterness bring into a close relationship. A heart full of malice, whoever it belongs to, does real harm to those near it, bringing sadness, wounding, and strife into a home. That is a true observation, and a sobering one. But rather than use it as a weapon to condemn another, its truest use is to examine ourselves: am I a source of malice or bitterness to those closest to me? Do I bring grief and strife into my home by a bitter spirit? The passage's warning is best applied first to our own hearts.

That inward application is worth taking seriously, for any of us can become a source of bitterness to those nearest us. We can carry malice, resentment, a quarrelsome or bitter spirit, into our closest relationships, and wound those we live with, poisoning the home. It is easy to see such faults in others; harder, and more profitable, to search for them in ourselves. Examine your own heart for malice and bitterness toward those closest to you, rather than only noticing it in others; ask whether you bring grief and strife into your relationships by a bitter spirit. Guard your own heart against becoming a source of malice and bitterness to those you live with; for the bitterness the passage laments is a bitterness each of us must watch against in ourselves, lest we wound those closest to us and poison our own home, rather than bringing to it the love and peace God calls us to.

Lord, this passage laments, in strong terms, the grief that comes into a home when one who shares it is full of malice and bitterness. Behind its hard words lies a real and painful truth: a bitter, malicious spirit in a close relationship poisons the whole household, wounding the heart. And while it speaks of another, its deepest use for me is to turn the searchlight inward: to ask whether I myself am a source of such bitterness to those closest to me. Show me the real pain the passage describes: the grief that malice and bitterness bring into a close relationship. A heart full of malice, whoever it belongs to, does real harm to those near it. But rather than use this as a weapon to condemn another, help me use it to examine myself: am I a source of malice or bitterness to those closest to me? Do I bring grief and strife into my home by a bitter spirit? Take that inward application seriously in me, for any of us can become a source of bitterness to those nearest. I can carry malice, resentment, a quarrelsome or bitter spirit, into my closest relationships, and wound those I live with. It is easy to see such faults in others; harder, and more profitable, to search for them in myself. Help me examine my own heart for malice and bitterness toward those closest to me, rather than only noticing it in others. Guard my own heart against becoming a source of malice and bitterness to those I live with, Lord; help me bring to my home the love and peace you call me to, rather than wounding those closest to me.