2 Samuel 13:17-22: a reflection

17Then he called his servant who ministered to him, and said, “Now put this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her.” 18She had a garment of various colors on her, for the king’s daughters who were virgins dressed in such robes. Then his servant brought her out and bolted the door after her. 19Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore her garment of various colors that was on her; and she laid her hand on her head and went her way, crying aloud as she went. 20Absalom her brother said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.” So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house. 21But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. 22Absalom spoke to Amnon neither good nor bad; for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.

This is a somber passage, the aftermath of a grievous wrong done to Tamar, David's daughter. She is left desolate; and those who should have brought her justice and comfort largely fail her. Her brother tells her to keep quiet and not take it to heart; her father, when he hears, is angry, but does nothing. Tamar is left wronged and desolate, without the justice or comfort she should have received from those responsible for her. It is a picture of the deeply wronged failed by those who should have helped.

Notice how those who should have acted for Tamar failed her. Her brother minimized the wrong; her father was angry but did not act; she was left desolate, her grievous wrong unaddressed. Those responsible for her protection and justice did not do what they should have; she was failed by the very people who should have helped her. It is a hard and honest picture of how the deeply wronged are sometimes failed by those who ought to have brought them justice and comfort.

That is a painful reality, and yet the passage points us, by contrast, to a God who does not fail the wronged. When we are deeply wronged, we may, like Tamar, be failed by those who should have helped us, left desolate without the justice or comfort we should have received. But God is not like those who failed her; he sees the wronged, cares for the desolate, and does not turn away from their suffering. If you have been deeply wronged, and failed even by those who should have helped you, do not conclude that no one sees or cares; God sees your wrong and your desolation, and cares for you when others have failed. He is the defender of the wronged and the comfort of the desolate, who does not fail those whom others fail. Bring your wrong and your desolation to God, who sees and cares even when human protectors fail, as Tamar was failed by hers; for he is the God who does not turn away from the deeply wronged, but sees, and cares, and will in his time bring justice.

Lord, this is a somber passage, the aftermath of a grievous wrong done to Tamar, David's daughter. She is left desolate; and those who should have brought her justice and comfort largely fail her. Her brother tells her to keep quiet; her father, when he hears, is angry, but does nothing. She is left wronged and desolate, without the justice or comfort she should have received. It is a picture of the deeply wronged failed by those who should have helped. Show me how those who should have acted for Tamar failed her. Her brother minimized the wrong; her father was angry but did not act; she was left desolate. Those responsible for her protection did not do what they should have. It is a hard and honest picture of how the deeply wronged are sometimes failed by those who ought to have helped. Yet the passage points me, by contrast, to a God who does not fail the wronged. When I am deeply wronged, I may, like Tamar, be failed by those who should have helped me, left desolate. But you are not like those who failed her; you see the wronged, care for the desolate, and do not turn away. If I have been deeply wronged, and failed even by those who should have helped me, keep me from concluding that no one sees or cares; you see my wrong and my desolation, and care for me when others have failed. Help me bring my wrong and my desolation to you, Lord, the defender of the wronged and the comfort of the desolate, who does not fail those whom others fail.