Judges 12:1-6: a reflection

1The men of Ephraim were gathered together, and passed northward; and they said to Jephthah, “Why did you pass over to fight against the children of Ammon, and didn’t call us to go with you? We will burn your house around you with fire!” 2Jephthah said to them, “I and my people were at great strife with the children of Ammon; and when I called you, you didn’t save me out of their hand. 3When I saw that you didn’t save me, I put my life in my hand, and passed over against the children of Ammon, and the LORD delivered them into my hand. Why then have you come up to me today, to fight against me?” 4Then Jephthah gathered together all the men of Gilead, and fought with Ephraim. The men of Gilead struck Ephraim, because they said, “You are fugitives of Ephraim, you Gileadites, in the middle of Ephraim, and in the middle of Manasseh.” 5The Gileadites took the fords of the Jordan against the Ephraimites. Whenever a fugitive of Ephraim said, “Let me go over,” the men of Gilead said to him, “Are you an Ephraimite?” If he said, “No;” 6then they said to him, “Now say ‘Shibboleth;’” and he said “Sibboleth”; for he couldn’t manage to pronounce it correctly, then they seized him and killed him at the fords of the Jordan. At that time, forty-two thousand of Ephraim fell.

After Jephthah has won a costly victory, the men of Ephraim come to him, not to congratulate him, but to quarrel: Why did you go to fight without calling us? They are offended, their pride wounded at being left out, and they threaten to burn his house down. What began as wounded pride and offense escalates into a deadly conflict between Ephraim and Gilead, kin fighting kin, ending in the slaughter of many thousands. A quarrel born of injured pride grew into a disastrous civil war among those who should have been united.

Notice how a conflict born of wounded pride escalated into disaster. The Ephraimites were offended, their pride injured at not being included; and rather than let the offense go, they nursed it, escalated it, threatened and provoked, until it erupted into deadly conflict. What began as bruised ego and offense grew, unchecked, into a war among kin, a disaster that need not have happened. Wounded pride, nursed and escalated rather than let go, led to catastrophe. The offense that could have been overlooked became, unchecked, a slaughter.

That is worth taking to heart, for wounded pride and offense, nursed rather than let go, can escalate into great harm, especially among those who should be united. We can take offense, feel our pride wounded, at being slighted or left out; and if we nurse that offense rather than letting it go, it can escalate into conflict, damaging relationships, especially with those who should be close to us, as the offense of Ephraim grew into war with their kin. Do not nurse wounded pride and offense, letting it escalate into conflict; let go of slights and injuries to your pride rather than nursing them into disaster. Guard against the escalation that begins with a bruised ego and grows, unchecked, into destructive conflict, especially with those who should be united with you; overlook the offense and let go the injury to your pride, rather than nursing it as Ephraim nursed theirs, until it erupted into a disastrous war among kin.

Lord, after Jephthah has won a costly victory, the men of Ephraim come to him, not to congratulate him, but to quarrel: why did you go to fight without calling us? They are offended, their pride wounded at being left out, and they threaten to burn his house down. What began as wounded pride and offense escalates into a deadly conflict between Ephraim and Gilead, kin fighting kin, ending in the slaughter of many thousands. A quarrel born of injured pride grew into a disastrous civil war. Show me how a conflict born of wounded pride escalated into disaster. The Ephraimites were offended, their pride injured at not being included; and rather than let the offense go, they nursed it, escalated it, until it erupted into deadly conflict. What began as bruised ego grew, unchecked, into a war among kin. Wounded pride, nursed rather than let go, led to catastrophe. Take that to my heart, for wounded pride and offense, nursed rather than let go, can escalate into great harm, especially among those who should be united. I can take offense, feel my pride wounded, at being slighted or left out; and if I nurse that offense rather than letting it go, it can escalate into conflict, damaging relationships. Keep me from nursing wounded pride and offense, letting it escalate into conflict; help me let go of slights and injuries to my pride rather than nursing them into disaster, Lord. Help me guard against the escalation that begins with a bruised ego, and overlook the offense rather than nursing it as Ephraim nursed theirs.