Ecclesiastes 7:1-8: a reflection

1A good name is better than fine perfume; and the day of death better than the day of one’s birth. 2It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting; for that is the end of all men, and the living should take this to heart. 3Sorrow is better than laughter; for by the sadness of the face the heart is made good. 4The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth. 5It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise than for a man to hear the song of fools. 6For as the crackling of thorns under a pot, so is the laughter of the fool. This also is vanity. 7Surely extortion makes the wise man foolish; and a bribe destroys the understanding. 8Better is the end of a thing than its beginning. The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.

Ecclesiastes says something our comfort-seeking culture finds strange: it is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting; sorrow is better than laughter, for by sadness of face the heart is made good; the heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth. In a world devoted to being happy and entertained, this sounds almost backward. But there is deep wisdom in it.

Notice what the sage is claiming. Not that mourning is pleasant, or that we should be gloomy, but that the house of mourning teaches the heart things the house of feasting cannot. Standing in the presence of death and loss, at a funeral, in grief, we are confronted with what is real, what matters, how brief life is, and the heart is sobered and deepened. Constant mirth, by contrast, keeps things shallow; it distracts us from the very realities that would make us wise.

That is worth taking to heart in an age built to keep us entertained and distracted from anything sad. We instinctively flee the house of mourning and camp in the house of mirth, but the sage says the wise heart does the opposite. Do not always run from sorrow. When grief comes, or when you stand at the graveside of someone you love, let the house of mourning do its work; let it sober you, deepen you, teach you what matters. There is a wisdom that only sorrow, honestly faced, can give. Do not despise the house of mourning; the heart is made good there.

Lord, in a world built to keep me entertained and distracted, teach me the strange wisdom of Ecclesiastes: that the house of mourning deepens the heart in ways the house of mirth cannot. When sorrow comes, help me not to flee it but to let it sober me and teach me what matters. Make my heart good through what only grief, honestly faced, can give.