Proverbs 27:17-27: a reflection

17Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend’s countenance. 18Whoever tends the fig tree shall eat its fruit. He who looks after his master shall be honored. 19Like water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man. 20Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied; and a man’s eyes are never satisfied. 21The crucible is for silver, and the furnace for gold; but man is refined by his praise. 22Though you grind a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with grain, yet his foolishness will not be removed from him. 23Know well the state of your flocks, and pay attention to your herds, 24for riches are not forever, nor does the crown endure to all generations. 25The hay is removed, and the new growth appears, the grasses of the hills are gathered in. 26The lambs are for your clothing, and the goats are the price of a field. 27There will be plenty of goats’ milk for your food, for your family’s food, and for the nourishment of your servant girls.

Among the proverbs comes a memorable picture of what happens between people who are close: Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend's countenance. Just as one iron blade is sharpened by being drawn against another, so a person is sharpened, made keener and better, by contact with another. The friction of a good friendship, the challenge and honesty of a real relationship, sharpens us, as iron sharpens iron. We are not made keener in isolation, but through the sharpening contact of others who challenge and refine us.

Notice the picture: iron sharpens iron, and so a person sharpens another. Iron is not sharpened in isolation; it is sharpened by being drawn against another iron. So a person is sharpened, made keener, wiser, better, through contact with others, through the honest challenge and friction of real relationships. The friend who challenges us, questions us, tells us the truth, sharpens us as iron sharpens iron. We do not grow keenest in isolation, insulated from all challenge; we are sharpened by the contact of others who push against us, refining and improving us. The sharpening comes through relationship, through the friction of iron on iron.

That is worth taking to heart, for we are sharpened not in isolation but through relationships that challenge and refine us. We can prefer to stay insulated, surrounded only by those who agree with us, avoiding the friction of honest challenge; but iron is sharpened by iron, and we are sharpened by relationships that push against us, that challenge and refine us. There is value in the sharpening friction of real relationship, not only in comfortable agreement. Do not avoid the sharpening friction of honest relationships, preferring only comfortable agreement; welcome those who sharpen you, as iron sharpens iron. Welcome relationships that sharpen you through honest challenge and friction, as iron sharpens iron, rather than insulating yourself in comfortable agreement; for we are sharpened not in isolation but through the contact of others who challenge and refine us, and there is value in the friction of iron on iron.

Lord, among the proverbs comes a memorable picture of what happens between people who are close: iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend's countenance. Just as one iron blade is sharpened by being drawn against another, so a person is sharpened, made keener and better, by contact with another. The friction of a good friendship, the challenge and honesty of a real relationship, sharpens us, as iron sharpens iron. Show me the picture: iron sharpens iron, and so a person sharpens another. Iron is not sharpened in isolation; it is sharpened by being drawn against another iron. So a person is sharpened, made keener, wiser, better, through contact with others, through the honest challenge and friction of real relationships. The friend who challenges me, questions me, tells me the truth, sharpens me as iron sharpens iron. I do not grow keenest in isolation, insulated from all challenge; I am sharpened by the contact of others who push against me. Take that to my heart, for I am sharpened not in isolation but through relationships that challenge and refine me. I can prefer to stay insulated, surrounded only by those who agree with me, avoiding the friction of honest challenge; but iron is sharpened by iron. There is value in the sharpening friction of real relationship, not only in comfortable agreement. Keep me from avoiding the sharpening friction of honest relationships, preferring only comfortable agreement; help me welcome those who sharpen me, Lord, as iron sharpens iron, that I may be refined through the honest challenge of real relationship.