Proverbs 20:1-16: a reflection

1Wine is a mocker and beer is a brawler. Whoever is led astray by them is not wise. 2The terror of a king is like the roaring of a lion. He who provokes him to anger forfeits his own life. 3It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling. 4The sluggard will not plow by reason of the winter; therefore he shall beg in harvest, and have nothing. 5Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. 6Many men claim to be men of unfailing love, but who can find a faithful man? 7A righteous man walks in integrity. Blessed are his children after him. 8A king who sits on the throne of judgment scatters away all evil with his eyes. 9Who can say, “I have made my heart pure. I am clean and without sin”? 10Differing weights and differing measures, both of them alike are an abomination to the LORD. 11Even a child makes himself known by his doings, whether his work is pure, and whether it is right. 12The hearing ear, and the seeing eye, the LORD has made even both of them. 13Don’t love sleep, lest you come to poverty. Open your eyes, and you shall be satisfied with bread. 14“It’s no good, it’s no good,” says the buyer; but when he is gone his way, then he boasts. 15There is gold and abundance of rubies, but the lips of knowledge are a rare jewel. 16Take the garment of one who puts up collateral for a stranger; and hold him in pledge for a wayward woman.

Among the proverbs comes a word that commends a kind of restraint we do not always value: It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling. To keep clear of strife, to avoid needless quarrels, is not weakness or cowardice; it is an honor. The fool, by contrast, is always quarreling, ready to enter every strife, to argue and contend. But the proverb calls it honorable to keep aloof from strife, to step back from needless quarrels rather than plunging into them. There is honor in avoiding strife, and folly in always being ready to quarrel.

Notice the honor the proverb assigns: to keep aloof from strife. We might think it strong or admirable to enter every argument, to contend for every point, to be ready to quarrel; but the proverb says the opposite, that it is an honor to keep clear of strife, and folly to be always quarreling. The one who avoids needless quarrels, who steps back from strife rather than plunging in, is honored; the fool who is always quarreling is not. There is a dignity in restraint, in keeping clear of the strife that fools rush into. To avoid needless quarrels is not weakness but honor; the wise keep aloof from strife, while the fool is always contending.

That is worth taking to heart, for there is honor in keeping clear of needless strife and quarrels. We can be quick to enter every argument, to contend for every point, to plunge into strife, thinking it strong or principled; but the proverb calls it an honor to keep aloof from strife, and folly to be always quarreling. There is dignity in the restraint that avoids needless quarrels. Do not be quick to plunge into every strife and quarrel, thinking it strong; there is honor in keeping clear of needless strife, as the proverb commends. Keep clear of needless strife and quarrels, finding honor in restraint rather than plunging into every argument, as the proverb says it is an honor to keep aloof from strife while every fool is quarreling; for there is dignity in avoiding needless quarrels, and it is honorable to step back from strife rather than to be always contending like a fool.

Lord, among the proverbs comes a word that commends a kind of restraint I do not always value: it is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling. To keep clear of strife, to avoid needless quarrels, is not weakness or cowardice; it is an honor. The fool, by contrast, is always quarreling, ready to enter every strife. But the proverb calls it honorable to keep aloof from strife, to step back from needless quarrels. Show me the honor the proverb assigns: to keep aloof from strife. I might think it strong or admirable to enter every argument, to contend for every point, to be ready to quarrel; but the proverb says the opposite, that it is an honor to keep clear of strife, and folly to be always quarreling. The one who avoids needless quarrels, who steps back from strife rather than plunging in, is honored. There is a dignity in restraint. To avoid needless quarrels is not weakness but honor. Take that to my heart, for there is honor in keeping clear of needless strife and quarrels. I can be quick to enter every argument, to contend for every point, to plunge into strife, thinking it strong or principled; but the proverb calls it an honor to keep aloof from strife. There is dignity in the restraint that avoids needless quarrels. Keep me from being quick to plunge into every strife and quarrel, thinking it strong; there is honor in keeping clear of needless strife, Lord. Help me keep clear of needless quarrels, finding honor in restraint rather than plunging into every argument, as the proverb commends.