Proverbs 15:1-16: a reflection

1A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 2The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools gush out folly. 3The LORD’s eyes are everywhere, keeping watch on the evil and the good. 4A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but deceit in it crushes the spirit. 5A fool despises his father’s correction, but he who heeds reproof shows prudence. 6In the house of the righteous is much treasure, but the income of the wicked brings trouble. 7The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so with the heart of fools. 8The sacrifice made by the wicked is an abomination to the LORD, but the prayer of the upright is his delight. 9The way of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD, but he loves him who follows after righteousness. 10There is stern discipline for one who forsakes the way. Whoever hates reproof shall die. 11Sheol and Abaddon are before the LORD— how much more then the hearts of the children of men! 12A scoffer doesn’t love to be reproved; he will not go to the wise. 13A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but an aching heart breaks the spirit. 14The heart of one who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouths of fools feed on folly. 15All the days of the afflicted are wretched, but one who has a cheerful heart enjoys a continual feast. 16Better is little, with the fear of the LORD, than great treasure with trouble.

This collection of proverbs opens with a word about the power of a gentle answer: A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. When someone is angry, the way we answer makes all the difference. A gentle answer, soft and kind, can turn away their wrath, defusing the anger rather than inflaming it; but a harsh word, met with harshness, only stirs the anger up further. The gentle answer has the power to defuse conflict; the harsh word only escalates it. How we answer, gently or harshly, determines whether anger is turned away or stirred up.

Notice the power of the gentle answer, contrasted with the harsh word. When anger meets us, we can respond gently or harshly; and the response makes all the difference. A gentle answer turns away wrath, defusing the anger, calming the conflict, meeting harshness with softness; but a harsh word, answering anger with anger, stirs it up, escalating the conflict. The gentle answer has a defusing power; the harsh word an inflaming one. To answer gently when met with anger is to turn away wrath; to answer harshly is to feed the fire. The choice of a gentle or harsh answer determines whether the conflict cools or grows. The soft answer defuses; the harsh word inflames.

That is worth taking to heart, for a gentle answer can turn away wrath, while a harsh word only stirs up anger. When we meet anger, from others or in conflict, our instinct can be to answer harshly, to match anger with anger; but this only stirs up the conflict, while a gentle answer can turn it away, defusing the anger. The gentle answer has a power the harsh word lacks: to calm rather than inflame. Do not answer anger with harshness, which only stirs it up; answer gently, which can turn away wrath, as the proverb says. Answer anger with a gentle response rather than a harsh one, knowing that a gentle answer turns away wrath while a harsh word stirs up anger, as the proverb teaches; for the soft answer has the power to defuse conflict where the harsh word only inflames it, and how we answer, gently or harshly, determines whether anger is turned away or stirred up.

Lord, this collection of proverbs opens with a word about the power of a gentle answer: a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. When someone is angry, the way I answer makes all the difference. A gentle answer, soft and kind, can turn away their wrath, defusing the anger rather than inflaming it; but a harsh word, met with harshness, only stirs the anger up further. Show me the power of the gentle answer, contrasted with the harsh word. When anger meets me, I can respond gently or harshly; and the response makes all the difference. A gentle answer turns away wrath, defusing the anger, calming the conflict, meeting harshness with softness; but a harsh word, answering anger with anger, stirs it up. The gentle answer has a defusing power; the harsh word an inflaming one. To answer gently when met with anger is to turn away wrath; to answer harshly is to feed the fire. Take that to my heart, for a gentle answer can turn away wrath, while a harsh word only stirs up anger. When I meet anger, from others or in conflict, my instinct can be to answer harshly, to match anger with anger; but this only stirs up the conflict, while a gentle answer can turn it away. Keep me from answering anger with harshness, which only stirs it up; help me answer gently, Lord, which can turn away wrath, as the proverb says, for the soft answer has the power to defuse conflict where the harsh word only inflames it.