Proverbs 5:17-23: a reflection

17Let them be for yourself alone, not for strangers with you. 18Let your spring be blessed. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19A loving doe and a graceful deer— let her breasts satisfy you at all times. Be captivated always with her love. 20For why should you, my son, be captivated with an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another? 21For the ways of man are before the LORD’s eyes. He examines all his paths. 22The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare him. The cords of his sin hold him firmly. 23He will die for lack of instruction. In the greatness of his folly, he will go astray.

This passage warns against sexual sin, but notice how it does so: not mainly by threats, but by an invitation to delight. Rejoice in the wife of your youth, it says; let her love captivate you always; be intoxicated with her love. The safeguard against straying it commends is not primarily grim restraint but positive, cultivated delight in the marriage you have. Why, it asks, would you be captivated by another when you could be captivated by your own?

Notice the wisdom in that approach. The passage does not merely say do not stray; it says delight in what is yours, nurture and enjoy the love you are committed to, so that the pull toward what is not yours loses its power. Faithfulness, it suggests, is best guarded not only by willpower against temptation, but by actively rejoicing in and tending the good you already have. A well-tended, cherished commitment is its own protection.

That principle reaches beyond marriage to faithfulness of many kinds. We often try to resist wandering, toward another person, another life, another greener grass, by sheer restraint, while neglecting to nurture and delight in what we already have. The better way is both: to guard against the wrong, yes, but even more, to cultivate joy in the good you are committed to. And the passage adds a sobering anchor: a man's ways are before the LORD's eyes; he sees all your paths. Tend and delight in what is yours, walk faithfully, and remember that God sees.

Lord, you guard faithfulness not only by warning against straying but by inviting delight in what is mine. Where I have neglected to nurture and rejoice in the good I am committed to, help me tend it and delight in it, so the pull toward what is not mine loses its power. Keep me faithful in all my paths, which are always before your eyes.