2 Corinthians 1:8-14: a reflection

8For we don’t desire to have you uninformed, brothers, concerning our affliction which happened to us in Asia: that we were weighed down exceedingly, beyond our power, so much that we despaired even of life. 9Yes, we ourselves have had the sentence of death within ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead, 10who delivered us out of so great a death, and does deliver, on whom we have set our hope that he will also still deliver us, 11you also helping together on our behalf by your supplication; that, for the gift given to us by means of many, thanks may be given by many persons on your behalf. 12For our boasting is this: the testimony of our conscience that in holiness and sincerity of God, not in fleshly wisdom but in the grace of God, we behaved ourselves in the world, and more abundantly toward you. 13For we write no other things to you than what you read or even acknowledge, and I hope you will acknowledge to the end— 14as also you acknowledged us in part—that we are your boasting, even as you also are ours, in the day of our Lord Jesus.

Paul does not hide how bad it got. We were so utterly burdened beyond our strength, he writes, that we despaired of life itself; we felt we had received the sentence of death. This is not mild discouragement; it is being crushed to the point of hopelessness. But then Paul says something remarkable about the purpose of it: this was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.

Notice what the crushing accomplished. It brought Paul to the absolute end of his own resources, past the point where he could rely on himself at all, and there, at the bottom, he learned to rely on God, specifically on the God who raises the dead. As long as he had strength of his own to lean on, self-reliance was possible. Only when he was crushed beyond his own power did he learn a deeper dependence on the God who can bring life out of death.

That reframes the times we are brought to the end of ourselves. Being crushed beyond our own strength, feeling we cannot go on, is a terrible place, and Paul does not pretend otherwise. But it can have a purpose: to teach us the reliance on God we would never learn while our own resources still seemed enough. If you have been brought to the end of yourself, past self-reliance, hear Paul: this can be the very place you learn to lean, not on yourself, but on the God who raises the dead. He is able where you are not.

Lord, when I am crushed beyond my own strength, brought to the end of myself, help me hear what Paul learned there: this can teach me to rely not on myself but on you, the God who raises the dead. Where my own resources fail, teach me a deeper dependence on you, who are able where I am not. Bring life out of my death.