1 Samuel 15:30-35: a reflection

30Then he said, “I have sinned; yet please honor me now before the elders of my people and before Israel, and come back with me, that I may worship the LORD your God.” 31So Samuel went back with Saul; and Saul worshiped the LORD. 32Then Samuel said, “Bring Agag the king of the Amalekites here to me!” Agag came to him cheerfully. Agag said, “Surely the bitterness of death is past.” 33Samuel said, “As your sword has made women childless, so your mother will be childless among women!” Then Samuel cut Agag in pieces before the LORD in Gilgal. 34Then Samuel went to Ramah; and Saul went up to his house to Gibeah of Saul. 35Samuel came no more to see Saul until the day of his death, but Samuel mourned for Saul. The LORD grieved that he had made Saul king over Israel.

When Samuel confronts Saul with his disobedience, Saul does say the words, I have sinned; but his very next request reveals a heart more concerned with his reputation than with truly turning to God. Please honor me now before the elders of my people and before Israel, Saul asks; come back with me. His concern is that his standing not be diminished before the people, that he be honored publicly, that his face be saved. His confession of sin is bound up with a request to preserve his honor before others. This is a repentance more concerned with appearances than with truly turning to God, with saving face than with a changed heart. Saul wanted to keep his reputation intact even as he admitted his sin; his eye was on how he looked before the people, not chiefly on God. A repentance concerned mainly with saving face and preserving our standing before others is not the same as truly turning to God with a humbled heart. Saul's confession looked more to his reputation than to real repentance.

Notice what Saul was most concerned with even as he confessed his sin: his honor before the people. He said, I have sinned; but in the same breath he asked to be honored before the elders and Israel, to have his standing preserved, his face saved. His confession was entangled with a concern for appearances, for how he would look before others. This exposes a hollow kind of repentance: one more concerned with preserving our reputation and saving face than with truly turning to God with a humbled heart. Real repentance humbles itself before God, caring more about being right with him than about how we look before others; but Saul's eye was on his standing before the people. It is possible to say the words of confession while our real concern is our reputation, our honor, our face before others, rather than a true turning of the heart to God. Such repentance saves face but does not truly turn. To be more concerned with our reputation than with truly turning to God is a hollow repentance. Saving face is not repenting.

That is worth taking to heart, for a repentance more concerned with saving face than with truly turning to God is hollow, and we must beware of it. We can say the words of confession while our real concern is our reputation, our standing before others, our face, rather than a true turning of the heart to God, as Saul confessed his sin but asked to be honored before the people. But such repentance saves face without truly turning; real repentance humbles itself before God, caring more about being right with him than about how we look. Do not let your repentance be more concerned with saving face and preserving your reputation than with truly turning to God; humble your heart before him. Let your repentance be a true turning of the heart to God, not merely a concern to save face and preserve your reputation before others, as Saul confessed his sin but was chiefly concerned to be honored before the elders and Israel; for a repentance more concerned with our standing before others than with truly turning to God is hollow, saving face without changing the heart, and real repentance humbles itself before God, caring more about being right with him than about how we look before others, so that we must beware of a confession that looks to our reputation rather than to a truly humbled and turning heart.

Lord, when Samuel confronts Saul with his disobedience, Saul does say the words, I have sinned; but his very next request reveals a heart more concerned with his reputation than with truly turning to you. Please honor me now before the elders of my people and before Israel, Saul asks; come back with me. His concern is that his standing not be diminished before the people, that he be honored publicly, that his face be saved. His confession of sin is bound up with a request to preserve his honor before others. This is a repentance more concerned with appearances than with truly turning to you. Show me what Saul was most concerned with even as he confessed his sin: his honor before the people. He said, I have sinned; but in the same breath he asked to be honored, to have his standing preserved, his face saved. His confession was entangled with a concern for how he would look before others. This exposes a hollow kind of repentance: one more concerned with preserving our reputation and saving face than with truly turning to you with a humbled heart. Real repentance humbles itself before you, caring more about being right with you than about how we look before others; but Saul's eye was on his standing before the people. It is possible to say the words of confession while our real concern is our reputation. Take that to my heart, for a repentance more concerned with saving face than with truly turning to you is hollow, and I must beware of it. I can say the words of confession while my real concern is my reputation, my standing before others, rather than a true turning of the heart to you. Keep me from letting my repentance be more concerned with saving face and preserving my reputation than with truly turning to you; help me humble my heart before you, Lord, caring more about being right with you than about how I look before others, as Saul, confessing his sin, was chiefly concerned to be honored before the people.