1 Kings 18:6-14: a reflection

6So they divided the land between them to pass throughout it. Ahab went one way by himself, and Obadiah went another way by himself. 7As Obadiah was on the way, behold, Elijah met him. He recognized him, and fell on his face, and said, “Is it you, my lord Elijah?” 8He answered him, “It is I. Go, tell your lord, ‘Behold, Elijah is here!’” 9He said, “How have I sinned, that you would deliver your servant into the hand of Ahab, to kill me? 10As the LORD your God lives, there is no nation or kingdom where my lord has not sent to seek you. When they said, ‘He is not here,’ he took an oath of the kingdom and nation that they didn’t find you. 11Now you say, ‘Go, tell your lord, “Behold, Elijah is here.”’ 12It will happen, as soon as I leave you, that the LORD’s Spirit will carry you I don’t know where; and so when I come and tell Ahab, and he can’t find you, he will kill me. But I, your servant, have feared the LORD from my youth. 13Wasn’t it told my lord what I did when Jezebel killed the LORD’s prophets, how I hid one hundred men of the LORD’s prophets with fifty to a cave, and fed them with bread and water? 14Now you say, ‘Go, tell your lord, “Behold, Elijah is here”.’ He will kill me.”

Obadiah, a faithful servant of the LORD who had hidden a hundred of God's prophets from Jezebel at the risk of his own life, meets Elijah, and when Elijah tells him to announce his presence to Ahab, Obadiah is gripped by real fear. He fears that the Spirit will carry Elijah away, and that Ahab, finding him gone, will kill Obadiah for the false report. But I your servant have feared the LORD from my youth, he protests, recounting his faithfulness even as he trembles. Here is a man of genuine faith, who had bravely hidden the prophets, yet who also feels real fear for his life. His faith and his fear coexist; being faithful did not make him fearless. This is honest and instructive: even the faithful feel real fear, and faith does not always banish fear. Obadiah, faithful and brave, still felt real fear for his life. Faith and fear can coexist in the faithful. Being faithful did not make Obadiah fearless. Even a faithful servant of God feels real fear.

Notice that Obadiah's faith and his fear are both real. He had shown remarkable courage, hiding a hundred prophets from Jezebel's slaughter at great personal risk; he had feared the LORD from his youth. And yet, faced with Elijah's instruction, he feels a very real fear for his own life, and says so honestly. His faith did not make him immune to fear; the two coexist in him. This is honest and comforting, for we can think that real faith should banish all fear, that to feel afraid is a failure of faith. But Obadiah, a genuinely faithful and brave man, still felt real fear; and his fear did not cancel his faith or his faithfulness. It is possible to be faithful and still feel fear, to trust God and still tremble at real danger. Faith is not the absence of fear, but faithfulness in the midst of it. Obadiah remained faithful even as he feared. We need not think that feeling fear means we have no faith; the faithful feel fear too, and remain faithful in it. Feeling fear is not a failure of faith. The faithful can tremble and still trust. Faith is faithfulness in the midst of fear, not its absence.

That is worth taking to heart, for even the faithful feel real fear, and feeling fear is not a failure of faith. We can think that real faith should leave us fearless, and be discouraged when we feel afraid, as though fear meant we had no faith; but Obadiah, who had bravely hidden a hundred prophets and feared the LORD from his youth, still felt real fear for his life. Faith and fear can coexist; faithfulness is not the absence of fear but perseverance in its midst. When you feel afraid, do not conclude you have no faith; the faithful feel fear too, and remain faithful. Remember that even the faithful feel real fear, and feeling afraid is not a failure of faith, as Obadiah, who had risked his life to hide a hundred of God's prophets and had feared the LORD from his youth, still felt genuine fear for his life when Elijah sent him to Ahab; for faith is not the absence of fear but faithfulness in the midst of it, and we need not be discouraged or conclude we have no faith when we feel afraid, since the faithful feel fear too and yet remain faithful, so that we can trust God and still tremble at real danger, as Obadiah did, remaining faithful even as he feared.

Lord, Obadiah, a faithful servant of yours who had hidden a hundred of your prophets from Jezebel at the risk of his own life, meets Elijah, and when Elijah tells him to announce his presence to Ahab, Obadiah is gripped by real fear. He fears that your Spirit will carry Elijah away, and that Ahab, finding him gone, will kill him for the false report. But I your servant have feared the LORD from my youth, he protests, recounting his faithfulness even as he trembles. Here is a man of genuine faith, who had bravely hidden the prophets, yet who also feels real fear for his life. His faith and his fear coexist; being faithful did not make him fearless. Show me that Obadiah's faith and his fear are both real. He had shown remarkable courage; and yet, faced with Elijah's instruction, he feels a very real fear for his own life, and says so honestly. His faith did not make him immune to fear. This is honest and comforting, for I can think that real faith should banish all fear, that to feel afraid is a failure of faith. But Obadiah, a genuinely faithful and brave man, still felt real fear; and his fear did not cancel his faith. It is possible to be faithful and still feel fear, to trust you and still tremble at real danger. Faith is not the absence of fear, but faithfulness in the midst of it. Take that to my heart, for even the faithful feel real fear, and feeling fear is not a failure of faith. I can think that real faith should leave me fearless, and be discouraged when I feel afraid; but Obadiah still felt real fear. When I feel afraid, keep me from concluding I have no faith; help me remain faithful in the midst of fear, Lord, as Obadiah did, who trusted you and still trembled at real danger yet remained faithful even as he feared.