Mark 14:17-21: a reflection

17When it was evening he came with the twelve. 18As they sat and were eating, Jesus said, “Most certainly I tell you, one of you will betray me—he who eats with me.” 19They began to be sorrowful, and to ask him one by one, “Surely not I?” And another said, “Surely not I?” 20He answered them, “It is one of the twelve, he who dips with me in the dish. 21For the Son of Man goes as it is written about him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would be better for that man if he had not been born.”

At the Last Supper, when Jesus says that one of the twelve will betray him, the response of the disciples is telling: rather than pointing fingers at one another, each one asks anxiously about himself. They began to be sorrowful, and to ask him one by one, Surely not I? Each disciple, hearing that one of them would betray Jesus, did not look around to accuse another, but examined himself, asking, surely it is not I? This is a striking instance of self-examination rather than accusation: each considered his own heart first, wondering whether he might be the one. This shows the humility of examining ourselves first, rather than assuming our own innocence and looking to accuse others. The disciples examined themselves: surely not I? Each looked to his own heart, not to accuse another. Self-examination, not accusation, was their response. They asked about themselves, not pointed at others.

Notice the direction of the disciples' response: inward, to themselves, not outward, to accuse. Told that one of them would betray Jesus, they might have looked around suspiciously, each confident of his own loyalty and wondering which of the others it could be. Instead, each asked, surely not I? They examined their own hearts first, humbly considering whether they might be capable of such a thing, rather than assuming their own innocence and looking to accuse. This is an example of a humble and searching spirit. When we hear of sin or failure, our instinct can be to assume it is not us, to look at others, to accuse or suspect; but the humbler and wiser response is to examine ourselves first, to ask whether the fault might be in us, not presuming our own innocence. To examine our own hearts before pointing at others is the way of humility. We do well to ask, surely not I, before looking to accuse another. Self-examination is humbler and wiser than quick accusation. Look first to your own heart, not to accuse others. Ask whether the fault is in you before pointing elsewhere.

That is worth taking to heart, for the humbler response, when we hear of sin or failure, is to examine ourselves first rather than to assume our innocence and accuse others, as the disciples each asked, surely not I? We can hear of a fault and immediately assume it is not us, looking around to accuse or suspect others; but the disciples, told one of them would betray Jesus, examined their own hearts, asking whether they might be the one. Self-examination is humbler than accusation. When you hear of sin or failure, do not rush to accuse others; examine your own heart first, asking whether the fault might be in you. Examine your own heart first, asking whether the fault might be in you, rather than assuming your innocence and looking to accuse others, as the disciples, when Jesus said one of the twelve would betray him, did not point fingers at one another but each asked sorrowfully, surely not I; for when we hear of sin or failure our instinct can be to assume it is not us, to look around suspiciously and accuse or suspect others while confident of our own loyalty, but the humbler and wiser response is to examine ourselves first, considering whether the fault might be in us and not presuming our own innocence, so that we do well to ask, surely not I, looking first to our own hearts before pointing at others, as the disciples did.

Lord Jesus, at the Last Supper, when you say that one of the twelve will betray you, the response of the disciples is telling: rather than pointing fingers at one another, each one asks anxiously about himself. They began to be sorrowful, and to ask you one by one, Surely not I? Each disciple, hearing that one of them would betray you, did not look around to accuse another, but examined himself, asking, surely it is not I? This is a striking instance of self-examination rather than accusation: each considered his own heart first, wondering whether he might be the one. This shows the humility of examining myself first, rather than assuming my own innocence and looking to accuse others. Show me the direction of the disciples' response: inward, to themselves, not outward, to accuse. Told that one of them would betray you, they might have looked around suspiciously, each confident of his own loyalty. Instead, each asked, surely not I? They examined their own hearts first, humbly considering whether they might be capable of such a thing. This is an example of a humble and searching spirit. When I hear of sin or failure, my instinct can be to assume it is not me, to look at others, to accuse or suspect; but the humbler and wiser response is to examine myself first, to ask whether the fault might be in me, not presuming my own innocence. Take that to my heart, for the humbler response is to examine myself first rather than assume my innocence and accuse others. When I hear of sin or failure, keep me from rushing to accuse others; help me examine my own heart first, Lord, asking whether the fault might be in me, as the disciples each asked, surely not I, looking to their own hearts before pointing at another.