1 Samuel 20:17-23: a reflection

17Jonathan caused David to swear again, for the love that he had for him; for he loved him as he loved his own soul. 18Then Jonathan said to him, “Tomorrow is the new moon, and you will be missed, because your seat will be empty. 19When you have stayed three days, go down quickly and come to the place where you hid yourself when this started, and remain by the stone Ezel. 20I will shoot three arrows on its side, as though I shot at a mark. 21Behold, I will send the boy, saying, ‘Go, find the arrows!’ If I tell the boy, ‘Behold, the arrows are on this side of you. Take them;’ then come, for there is peace to you and no danger, as the LORD lives. 22But if I say this to the boy, ‘Behold, the arrows are beyond you,’ then go your way, for the LORD has sent you away. 23Concerning the matter which you and I have spoken of, behold, the LORD is between you and me forever.”

Jonathan and David share one of the deepest friendships in Scripture, and here it is put to the test. Jonathan, the king's son and natural heir, loves David, the very man who threatens his claim to the throne, as he loves his own soul. Knowing his father Saul means to kill David, Jonathan devises a secret signal with arrows to warn his friend, risking his own standing to protect the one he loves. His loyalty runs deeper than his self-interest.

What makes this friendship remarkable is its selflessness. By every worldly calculation, David is Jonathan's rival; helping him means giving up his own future crown. Yet Jonathan chooses love and covenant over ambition. And he grounds the whole relationship in something larger than themselves: the Lord is between you and me forever, he says. Their bond is not mere affection but a covenant made before God, and that is what gives it strength to survive even mortal danger.

Jonathan models a kind of love our self-interested age rarely sees: a friendship willing to sacrifice its own advantage for another's good, anchored in God. Ask whether your loves are like this, or whether they quietly serve your own interests. Is there someone whose good you could seek even at cost to yourself? And notice where Jonathan's strength came from, a bond with the Lord at its center. Friendships grounded in God, and willing to sacrifice, are among the greatest gifts of this life.

Lord, Jonathan loved David more than his own crown, and grounded their friendship in you. Give me loves like that, willing to seek another's good even at cost to myself, and anchored not in my own interest but in you. Put your name at the center of my friendships, and make me the kind of friend who sacrifices rather than only takes. Thank you for such a gift. Amen.