Psalms 44:17-26: a reflection

17All this has come on us, yet we haven’t forgotten you. We haven’t been false to your covenant. 18Our heart has not turned back, neither have our steps strayed from your path, 19though you have crushed us in the haunt of jackals, and covered us with the shadow of death. 20If we have forgotten the name of our God, or spread out our hands to a strange god, 21won’t God search this out? For he knows the secrets of the heart. 22Yes, for your sake we are killed all day long. We are regarded as sheep for the slaughter. 23Wake up! Why do you sleep, Lord? Arise! Don’t reject us forever. 24Why do you hide your face, and forget our affliction and our oppression? 25For our soul is bowed down to the dust. Our body clings to the earth. 26Rise up to help us. Redeem us for your loving kindness’ sake.

This is a startling prayer. The people insist that they have not forgotten God or been false to his covenant; their hearts have not turned back. And yet, they say, all this has come upon us, crushing and darkness and defeat. Their suffering is not the obvious harvest of unfaithfulness. They are being afflicted, as far as they can tell, precisely as those who have stayed loyal. For your sake, they cry, we are killed all day long, regarded as sheep for the slaughter.

What do they do with such undeserved suffering? They bring it honestly, even boldly, to God. Awake! Why do you sleep, Lord? they pray; Arise, do not reject us forever. This is not polite religion; it is a raw, wrestling prayer that dares to ask God why he seems absent. And notice, they do not stop praying or abandon God; they press into him, ending with an appeal to his steadfast love: redeem us for the sake of your loving kindness.

There is deep permission here for a certain kind of prayer. Sometimes suffering comes that you cannot explain as punishment, affliction that falls on the faithful, and the temptation is either to blame yourself falsely or to turn away from God in silence. This psalm shows a third way: bring the confusion straight to God, honestly, even with hard questions, and cast yourself on his steadfast love. When you cannot understand your suffering, do not stop talking to God about it.

Lord, sometimes affliction comes that I cannot explain as punishment, and I am tempted to blame myself or to go silent. Teach me the honest boldness of this psalm, to bring my confusion straight to you, even the hard questions, and to cast myself on your steadfast love. When I cannot understand my suffering, keep me talking to you, and redeem me for your loving kindness' sake. Amen.