1 Corinthians 7:6-11: a reflection

6But this I say by way of concession, not of commandment. 7Yet I wish that all men were like me. However, each man has his own gift from God, one of this kind, and another of that kind. 8But I say to the unmarried and to widows, it is good for them if they remain even as I am. 9But if they don’t have self-control, let them marry. For it’s better to marry than to burn with passion. 10But to the married I command—not I, but the Lord—that the wife not leave her husband 11(but if she departs, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband not leave his wife.

Paul addresses questions about marriage and singleness with a striking balance. He does not exalt one state over the other as universally better; instead he says, each has his own gift from God, one of this kind, another of that. Singleness and marriage are both gifts, each with its own calling and grace. Paul, who was himself unmarried and content, wishes others could share his freedom, but he does not force his own path on everyone; God gives different gifts to different people.

For those not called to singleness, Paul is realistic and gracious: it is better to marry than to burn with unfulfilled desire. And to the married he passes on the Lord's own command about the seriousness of the marriage bond: they are not to separate lightly, and where separation happens, the door to reconciliation should remain open. Running through his counsel is a respect for the weight of these callings and a concern that people live faithfully within whatever state God has given them.

There is freedom and dignity here for both the single and the married. If you are single, your state is not a lesser or incomplete life but a gift with its own calling and grace; do not despise it or assume marriage would fix everything. If you are married, honor the seriousness of that commitment and hold it faithfully. Ask God to help you receive your own situation as a gift from him, and to live faithfully and contentedly within the calling he has given you.

Lord, you give singleness to some and marriage to others, each a gift with its own calling and grace. Help me to receive my own situation from your hand rather than despising it or envying another's. If I am single, let me live that gift fully; if I am married, let me honor its commitment faithfully. Give me contentment in the calling you have given me, and grace to live it well. Amen.