2 Samuel 10:1-5: a reflection

1After this, the king of the children of Ammon died, and Hanun his son reigned in his place. 2David said, “I will show kindness to Hanun the son of Nahash, as his father showed kindness to me.” So David sent by his servants to comfort him concerning his father. David’s servants came into the land of the children of Ammon. 3But the princes of the children of Ammon said to Hanun their lord, “Do you think that David honors your father, in that he has sent comforters to you? Hasn’t David sent his servants to you to search the city, to spy it out, and to overthrow it?” 4So Hanun took David’s servants, shaved off one half of their beards, and cut off their garments in the middle, even to their buttocks, and sent them away. 5When they told David this, he sent to meet them, for the men were greatly ashamed. The king said, “Wait at Jericho until your beards have grown, and then return.”

When the king of Ammon dies, David, remembering the kindness the man's father had once shown him, sends envoys to comfort the grieving son, Hanun, a genuine gesture of goodwill. But Hanun's advisors poison it with suspicion: Do you think David is really honoring your father? they say. Surely he has sent these men to spy out the city and overthrow it! And Hanun, believing them, humiliates David's envoys, shaving off half their beards and cutting off their garments, and sends them away in disgrace. A kind gesture is repaid with insult, because it was read as a plot.

Notice the sad dynamic. David's kindness was sincere; he meant only to comfort a grieving son. But it was interpreted through suspicion, twisted into an imagined threat, and answered with insult. Genuine goodwill was assumed to be a cover for hostile intent. It is one of the painful realities of trying to do good: our kindest gestures are sometimes met not with gratitude but with suspicion, misread as having ulterior motives, and repaid with rejection.

There is something to learn here for both sides. For ourselves, it is a caution against Hanun's suspicion, the reflex to read the worst motives into others' kindness, to assume goodwill is a cover for something. And it is a comfort when we are on David's side: if your genuine kindness is met with suspicion and insult, you are in good company; even sincere goodwill is sometimes misread and rejected. Do not let it stop you from doing good. And notice David's tender response to his humiliated men, caring for their shame. When your kindness is thrown back at you, keep doing good, and care for those wounded by others' cruelty.

Lord, David's sincere kindness to a grieving son was read as a plot and repaid with insult. Guard me from Hanun's suspicion, the reflex to read the worst motives into others' kindness. And when my own genuine goodwill is met with suspicion and rejection, comfort me that even sincere kindness is sometimes misread, and keep me from letting it stop me from doing good. Help me, like David, to care for those wounded by others' cruelty. Let me keep doing good even when it is thrown back at me.