Ephesians 4:25-32: a reflection

25Therefore, putting away falsehood, speak truth each one with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. 26“Be angry, and don’t sin.” Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, 27and don’t give place to the devil. 28Let him who stole steal no more; but rather let him labor, producing with his hands something that is good, that he may have something to give to him who has need. 29Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30Don’t grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. 32And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.

Paul gives a series of practical instructions for the new life, and they culminate in a command about how we treat one another: Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, as God in Christ forgave you. The whole passage, putting away lying, resolving anger before nightfall, speaking words that build up rather than tear down, putting away bitterness and malice, comes to rest in this: kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness, measured by the forgiveness God has shown us.

Notice the standard Paul sets for our forgiveness: as God in Christ forgave you. Not forgive as far as you feel like, or forgive if they deserve it, but forgive as God forgave you, freely, fully, at great cost, while you were still in the wrong. The measure and model of the forgiveness we extend to others is the forgiveness we ourselves have received from God. His forgiveness of us sets the pattern for our forgiveness of one another.

That both empowers and obligates. It empowers, because remembering the vast forgiveness we have received softens our hearts toward those who have wronged us; how can we, forgiven so much, withhold forgiveness from others? And it obligates, because to refuse forgiveness to others is to forget the mercy we ourselves live by. When you are struggling to forgive someone, look at how God in Christ forgave you, freely, fully, at cost. Let that be your measure. Be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving, as God in Christ forgave you.

Lord, you call me to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving toward others, as God in Christ forgave me. When I struggle to forgive someone who has wronged me, remind me of the vast forgiveness I myself have received from you, freely, fully, at great cost, while I was still in the wrong. Let your forgiveness of me be the measure and model of my forgiveness of others. Soften my heart, and help me forgive as I have been forgiven.