1 Samuel 21:7-15: a reflection

7Now a certain man of the servants of Saul was there that day, detained before the LORD; and his name was Doeg the Edomite, the best of the herdsmen who belonged to Saul. 8David said to Ahimelech, “Isn’t there here under your hand spear or sword? For I haven’t brought my sword or my weapons with me, because the king’s business required haste.” 9The priest said, “Behold, the sword of Goliath the Philistine, whom you killed in the valley of Elah, is here wrapped in a cloth behind the ephod. If you would like to take that, take it, for there is no other except that here.” David said, “There is none like that. Give it to me.” 10David arose and fled that day for fear of Saul, and went to Achish the king of Gath. 11The servants of Achish said to him, “Isn’t this David the king of the land? Didn’t they sing to one another about him in dances, saying, ‘Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands’?” 12David laid up these words in his heart, and was very afraid of Achish the king of Gath. 13He changed his behavior before them and pretended to be insane in their hands, and scribbled on the doors of the gate, and let his spittle fall down on his beard. 14Then Achish said to his servants, “Look, you see the man is insane. Why then have you brought him to me? 15Do I lack madmen, that you have brought this fellow to play the madman in my presence? Should this fellow come into my house?”

David, fleeing from Saul, arrives at the Philistine city of Gath, and it goes badly. He is recognized as the famous warrior of Israel, the one the songs celebrated for killing ten thousands, and he becomes very afraid of the Philistine king. In his terror, this is the same David who had faced Goliath, he resorts to a desperate charade, pretending to be insane, scratching at the gate and letting spit run down his beard, until the king dismisses him as a madman. It is a low, undignified moment for the great David: reduced to feigning madness out of fear.

Notice how far this is from the David we usually picture. Here is no fearless giant-killer, no confident man after God's own heart, but a frightened fugitive, scrambling, feigning madness, at one of the lowest points of his life. Even David, the great and faithful David, had moments like this, gripped by fear, resorting to desperate and undignified measures, far from his best self. The Scripture does not hide his low points; it records them honestly.

There is quiet comfort in that honesty. If even David had moments of fear, scrambling, and undignified desperation, then our own low points, when we are frightened, scrambling, far from our best selves, do not put us outside God's care. God did not abandon David at Gath; David would go on, and even wrote psalms of trust out of these very experiences. God's grace toward us is not reserved for our finest, most faithful moments; he is patient with us at our lowest, most fearful, least admirable ones too. When you are at a low point, gripped by fear, not your best self, remember David at Gath, and the God who did not abandon him there.

Lord, even David, the giant-killer, had a low point of fear at Gath, reduced to feigning madness, far from his best self. Thank you that Scripture records his low moments honestly, and that you did not abandon him there. When I am at my own low points, frightened, scrambling, not my best self, remind me that your grace is not reserved for my finest moments. You are patient with me at my lowest and most fearful. Do not let me despair in my weakness, but help me trust the God who stayed with David at Gath, and stays with me.