Proverbs 13:17-25: a reflection

17A wicked messenger falls into trouble, but a trustworthy envoy gains healing. 18Poverty and shame come to him who refuses discipline, but he who heeds correction shall be honored. 19Longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul, but fools detest turning from evil. 20One who walks with wise men grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. 21Misfortune pursues sinners, but prosperity rewards the righteous. 22A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, but the wealth of the sinner is stored for the righteous. 23An abundance of food is in poor people’s fields, but injustice sweeps it away. 24One who spares the rod hates his son, but one who loves him is careful to discipline him. 25The righteous one eats to the satisfying of his soul, but the belly of the wicked goes hungry.

Among this cluster of proverbs is one with a simple, searching truth about the company we keep: Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools suffers harm. It is a plain observation, but a profound one: we are shaped by those we spend our time with. Keep company with the wise, and their wisdom rubs off; keep company with fools, and you take on their folly and share in its harm.

Notice what the proverb assumes: that we become like our companions. We are not as independent as we like to think; the people we walk closely with, whose thinking and living we are constantly around, shape us, for better or worse. Their attitudes, values, habits, and ways of speaking seep into us over time. Walk with the wise, and you grow wise; walk with fools, and their folly, and its consequences, become yours. Our companions are quietly forming us.

That is worth taking seriously in choosing whom we walk closely with. Since we become like our companions, the friends and influences we surround ourselves with matter enormously; they are shaping the people we are becoming. It is worth asking honestly whether the company you keep is making you wiser or duller, better or worse. Seek out and walk with the wise, those whose lives and thinking will make you wiser, and be careful of close companionship with folly, which will draw you into harm. Choose your companions with care, for you are becoming like them.

Lord, your proverb says that whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools suffers harm; we become like those we spend our time with. Help me take that seriously in choosing my companions. Show me honestly whether the company I keep is making me wiser or duller, better or worse. Draw me to walk closely with the wise, those who will shape me toward wisdom and godliness, and give me discernment about close companionship with folly. I am becoming like my companions; help me choose them with care.