Genesis 32:13-20: a reflection

13He stayed there that night, and took from that which he had with him a present for Esau, his brother: 14two hundred female goats and twenty male goats, two hundred ewes and twenty rams, 15thirty milk camels and their colts, forty cows, ten bulls, twenty female donkeys and ten foals. 16He delivered them into the hands of his servants, every herd by itself, and said to his servants, “Pass over before me, and put a space between herd and herd.” 17He commanded the foremost, saying, “When Esau, my brother, meets you, and asks you, saying, ‘Whose are you? Where are you going? Whose are these before you?’ 18Then you shall say, ‘They are your servant, Jacob’s. It is a present sent to my lord, Esau. Behold, he also is behind us.’” 19He commanded also the second, and the third, and all that followed the herds, saying, “This is how you shall speak to Esau, when you find him. 20You shall say, ‘Not only that, but behold, your servant, Jacob, is behind us.’” For, he said, “I will appease him with the present that goes before me, and afterward I will see his face. Perhaps he will accept me.”

Jacob is about to meet Esau, the brother he wronged years before by stealing his blessing, the brother who once vowed to kill him. Afraid, Jacob prepares carefully to make peace. He sends ahead droves of livestock as a generous gift, wave after wave, each servant instructed to tell Esau these are a present from your servant Jacob. I will appease him with the present that goes before me, Jacob says, and afterward I will see his face; perhaps he will accept me. He takes concrete, humble, costly steps to seek reconciliation with the brother he had wronged.

Notice what Jacob does to make peace. He does not simply hope the tension will resolve itself, nor does he approach with pride; he takes the initiative, humbly and at real cost, sending generous gifts ahead to soften the way, positioning himself as the servant and Esau as the lord. He is willing to spend and to humble himself to be reconciled with the brother he had wronged.

That is a picture worth learning from when we have wronged someone or are estranged from them. Reconciliation often requires exactly what Jacob shows: taking the initiative rather than waiting, humbling ourselves rather than standing on pride, being willing to bear some cost to make peace, going ahead with concrete gestures of goodwill. If you are estranged from someone, especially someone you have wronged, consider Jacob. Do not simply wait and hope; take the humble, costly first steps toward peace. Reconciliation is worth the initiative and the cost. Go ahead, as Jacob did, to seek the face of the one you have wronged.

Lord, Jacob, about to meet the brother he had wronged, took humble and costly steps to make peace, sending gifts ahead and lowering himself to seek reconciliation. Teach me to do the same. When I have wronged someone or am estranged from them, keep me from simply waiting and hoping the tension will resolve itself. Give me the humility to take the initiative, to bear some cost, to make concrete gestures of goodwill toward peace. Help me seek reconciliation actively, as Jacob sought Esau's face. Let me not stand on pride, but go ahead to make peace.