1 Samuel 20:35-42: a reflection

35In the morning, Jonathan went out into the field at the time appointed with David, and a little boy with him. 36He said to his boy, “Run, find now the arrows which I shoot.” As the boy ran, he shot an arrow beyond him. 37When the boy had come to the place of the arrow which Jonathan had shot, Jonathan cried after the boy, and said, “Isn’t the arrow beyond you?” 38Jonathan cried after the boy, “Go fast! Hurry! Don’t delay!” Jonathan’s boy gathered up the arrows, and came to his master. 39But the boy didn’t know anything. Only Jonathan and David knew the matter. 40Jonathan gave his weapons to his boy, and said to him, “Go, carry them to the city.” 41As soon as the boy was gone, David arose out of the south, and fell on his face to the ground, and bowed himself three times. They kissed one another and wept with one another, and David wept the most. 42Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, because we have both sworn in the LORD’s name, saying, ‘The LORD is between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever.’” He arose and departed; and Jonathan went into the city.

This is the poignant farewell of Jonathan and David, two friends bound by a covenant of loyal love. Jonathan, the king's son, the natural heir to the throne, knows that David, not he, is destined to be king, and yet he loves David without envy and protects him even against his own father Saul. Here, having warned David that he must flee, the two friends meet secretly one last time, weep together, and part. Go in peace, Jonathan says, since we have both sworn in the LORD's name, that the LORD will be between me and you forever.

Notice the quality of Jonathan's friendship. He loves David selflessly, even though David's rise means his own loss of the throne; he protects David at great cost, risking his father's wrath; and he remains loyal to the end, sealing their bond with an oath before God. This is friendship without envy or self-interest, a loyal love that seeks the other's good even at cost to oneself. Jonathan wanted David's good more than his own advancement.

That is a picture of friendship worth aspiring to and giving thanks for. Most of us long for, and are called to be, friends like Jonathan: loyal, selfless, glad for another's rise even when it costs us, willing to protect and support at real cost, faithful to the end. Such friendship is a gift from God and a reflection of his own faithful love. Be a friend like Jonathan, loving without envy, seeking your friend's good above your own advantage, loyal at cost. And give thanks for the Jonathans God has given you, whose faithful love is a picture of his.

Lord, Jonathan loved David without envy, protecting him at great cost even though David's rise meant his own loss of the throne, and remained loyal to the end. Make me that kind of friend: loyal, selfless, glad for another's good even when it costs me, faithful at real cost. Keep envy and self-interest out of my friendships, and help me seek my friends' good above my own advantage. Thank you for the faithful friends you have given me, whose loyal love reflects your own. Make me a friend like Jonathan, and let my friendships mirror your faithful love.