2 Samuel 19:31-37: a reflection

31Barzillai the Gileadite came down from Rogelim; and he went over the Jordan with the king to conduct him over the Jordan. 32Now Barzillai was a very aged man, even eighty years old. He had provided the king with sustenance while he stayed at Mahanaim, for he was a very great man. 33The king said to Barzillai, “Come over with me, and I will sustain you with me in Jerusalem.” 34Barzillai said to the king, “How many are the days of the years of my life, that I should go up with the king to Jerusalem? 35I am eighty years old, today. Can I discern between good and bad? Can your servant taste what I eat or what I drink? Can I hear the voice of singing men and singing women any more? Why then should your servant be a burden to my lord the king? 36Your servant will just go over the Jordan with the king. Why should the king repay me with such a reward? 37Please let your servant turn back again, that I may die in my own city, by the grave of my father and my mother. But behold, your servant Chimham; let him go over with my lord the king; and do to him what shall seem good to you.”

When the aged Barzillai, who had generously supported King David during his exile, comes to see the king safely across the Jordan, David offers to reward him: Come over with me, and I will provide for you in Jerusalem. But Barzillai gently declines. He is eighty years old, he says; he can no longer taste his food or hear the singers; why should he be a burden, or seek such a reward? He is content to have served the king, and asks only to return home to die in his own city, near the graves of his parents. He served generously, and sought no repayment.

Notice Barzillai's contentment and his freedom from grasping. He had served the king at real cost, and now, offered a rich reward, he does not seize it; he is content with what he has, at peace with his age and his lot, happy simply to have been of service. He served not to be repaid, but out of loyalty, and he can let the reward go, content to end his days quietly at home. There is a graciousness in his aging, a contentment that does not grasp.

That is a lovely and countercultural example. We are prone to serve with an eye to reward, and to grasp at recognition and repayment when it is offered. Barzillai served freely and let the reward go, content with his lot. There is freedom in serving without seeking repayment, and grace in a contentment that does not grasp for more, especially as we age. Learn from Barzillai: serve out of love, not for reward; hold your later years with contentment rather than grasping; and be at peace with your lot, glad simply to have been of use. A life that serves freely and rests content is a rich and gracious thing.

Lord, the aged Barzillai, who had generously supported David, declined the king's reward, content simply to have served and at peace to return home for his last days. Give me that contentment and that freedom from grasping. Keep me from serving with an eye to reward, or seizing recognition and repayment when it is offered. Teach me to serve out of love, not for return, and to let go of rewards with a content heart. And as I age, give me Barzillai's graciousness, a contentment that does not grasp for more, a peace with my lot, glad simply to have been of use to you and to others. Make my life one that serves freely and rests content, trusting you for what I need and seeking no repayment.