Job 10:17-22: a reflection

17You renew your witnesses against me, and increase your indignation on me. Changes and warfare are with me. 18“‘Why, then, have you brought me out of the womb? I wish I had given up the spirit, and no eye had seen me. 19I should have been as though I had not been. I should have been carried from the womb to the grave. 20Aren’t my days few? Stop! Leave me alone, that I may find a little comfort, 21before I go where I will not return from, to the land of darkness and of the shadow of death; 22the land dark as midnight, of the shadow of death, without any order, where the light is as midnight.’”

In the depths of his suffering, Job sinks into some of the darkest words in Scripture. He wishes he had never been born: Why did you bring me out of the womb? Would that I had died and no eye had seen me. He longs only for a little relief before he goes down to the land of gloom and deep darkness, the place of no return. It is the voice of a soul in the blackest despair, laying its anguish, even its wish never to have existed, before God.

Notice that these dark words are spoken to God, and that Scripture holds them. Job does not hide his despair behind a mask of piety; he pours out his darkest thoughts, his anguish, his longing for death, directly to God. And remarkably, the Bible records this without rebuke, giving voice to the depths of human despair. God does not turn away from Job for his dark honesty; the lament is received, held, part of an honest relationship with God even in the blackest night.

That is a strange but real comfort for anyone in the depths. There are seasons of darkness so deep that we can hardly see any light, when despair fills the mind and even dark thoughts come. Job shows that such depths can be brought honestly to God, that we need not hide our darkest anguish behind pious words. God receives the honest lament of the despairing; he does not turn away from those who cry to him from the depths. If you are in such darkness, bring it to God as Job did, honestly, holding nothing back. He can bear your darkest words, and he does not turn away the despairing who cry to him. Even in the land of deep shadow, you are not beyond his hearing; pour out your anguish to the God who receives it.

Lord, in the depths of his suffering Job spoke some of the darkest words in Scripture, wishing he had never been born, longing only for relief before the darkness, and yet he spoke them to you, and your word holds them without rebuke. When I am in a darkness so deep I can hardly see any light, when despair fills my mind, help me bring even that honestly to you, as Job did, without hiding it behind pious words. Thank you that you receive the honest lament of the despairing, that you do not turn away from those who cry to you from the depths. In the land of deep shadow, I am not beyond your hearing. Meet me in my darkness, hear my anguish, and hold me until the light returns.