John 11:28-32: in context

After the death of Lazarus, when Jesus finally comes, Martha goes to tell her sister Mary, the Teacher is here and is calling you. Mary rises quickly and goes to him. And when she reaches Jesus and sees him, she falls at his feet and says words heavy with grief and something like reproach: Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. She brings her sorrow, and her bewilderment at his delay, straight to Jesus, laying it at his feet.

Mary's words are worth attending to, for they are not a polished prayer but the raw cry of grief. Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died: there is sorrow in it, and something close to complaint, an unspoken why did you not come sooner? She had sent for Jesus; he had delayed; her brother had died. And now, seeing him, she pours out her grief and her bewilderment at his feet. She does not hide her sorrow or dress it up; she brings it, raw and honest, to Jesus. And Jesus does not rebuke her. He does not scold her for the reproach in her words or demand a more composed faith. As the account goes on, he is deeply moved, and he weeps with her. This shows us that we can bring our grief, honestly, to Jesus. When we are in sorrow, we can feel we must come to God with composed, careful words, hiding our confusion, our disappointment, our unspoken why. Mary shows another way: she brought her raw grief and her bewilderment straight to Jesus, laid it at his feet, spoke it honestly. And he received it, not with rebuke but with tears. Trust in him at all times, the psalmist says; pour out your heart before him. God receives the honest outpouring of our grief, even when it carries confusion or complaint. And Jesus, we are told, is not a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weakness; he weeps with the grieving, enters into our sorrow, receives our raw grief with compassion rather than rebuke. This frees us to bring our grief to Jesus as it really is. We need not hide our sorrow behind composed words, or suppress our bewildered why, or come only when we can manage a serene faith. Mary came with raw grief and something like reproach, fell at Jesus' feet, and was met not with rebuke but with tears. And we may bring our grief to him the same way, honestly, laying our sorrow and our confusion at his feet, trusting that he receives the honest outpouring of the grieving heart and weeps with us, a Savior who enters our sorrow rather than standing aloof from it. Pour out your heart before him; he is a God who receives it.

When I am in grief, do I feel I must come to God with composed, careful words, hiding my sorrow and suppressing my bewildered why, or can Mary, who fell at Jesus' feet and poured out her raw grief and near-reproach, and was met not with rebuke but with his tears, free me to bring my grief to Jesus honestly, laying my sorrow and confusion at his feet, trusting that he receives the honest outpouring of the grieving heart and weeps with me?