John 11:28-32: a reflection

28When she had said this, she went away and called Mary, her sister, secretly, saying, “The Teacher is here and is calling you.” 29When she heard this, she arose quickly and went to him. 30Now Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was in the place where Martha met him. 31Then the Jews who were with her in the house and were consoling her, when they saw Mary, that she rose up quickly and went out, followed her, saying, “She is going to the tomb to weep there.” 32Therefore when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell down at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you would have been here, my brother wouldn’t have died.”

When Mary, the sister of the dead Lazarus, at last comes to Jesus, she falls at his feet and pours out her grief with a note of reproach: Lord, if you would have been here, my brother wouldn't have died. It is an honest, aching lament, and even a kind of complaint: where were you? had you been here, this would not have happened. She does not hide her sorrow or her disappointment; she brings it, raw and honest, and lays it at Jesus' feet. And Jesus, as the account goes on to show, receives her grief, and weeps with her.

Notice that Mary brought her grief and even her disappointment honestly to Jesus. She did not compose herself into polite acceptance; she fell at his feet and said what was in her aching heart, including the hard question, if you had been here. And Jesus did not rebuke her for it; he received her honest sorrow, and was moved to tears himself. He welcomed her raw grief and her disappointment, rather than requiring her to hide them. Her honest lament was received, not rejected.

That is worth taking to heart, for we can feel we must hide our grief and disappointment from God, presenting only composed acceptance. When we are grieved or disappointed, even with God, feeling that he could have prevented our loss, we can think we must not say so, must only be resigned and polite. But Mary brought her raw grief and her if you had been here to Jesus, and he received it. Do not feel you must hide your grief or your disappointment from God, presenting only a composed face; bring it honestly to him, as Mary fell at Jesus' feet and poured out her aching heart. God receives our honest sorrow, even our disappointment and hard questions; he does not require us to hide them. Bring your grief and disappointment honestly to Christ, as Mary did, and trust that he receives it, and even weeps with you, rather than hiding your true heart behind a composed acceptance.

Lord Jesus, when Mary, the sister of the dead Lazarus, at last came to you, she fell at your feet and poured out her grief with a note of reproach: Lord, if you would have been here, my brother wouldn't have died. It is an honest, aching lament, even a kind of complaint: where were you? She did not hide her sorrow or her disappointment; she brought it, raw and honest, and laid it at your feet. And you received her grief, and wept with her. Show me that Mary brought her grief and even her disappointment honestly to you. She did not compose herself into polite acceptance; she fell at your feet and said what was in her aching heart, including the hard question. And you did not rebuke her for it; you received her honest sorrow, and were moved to tears yourself. Her honest lament was received, not rejected. Take that to my heart, for I can feel I must hide my grief and disappointment from you, presenting only composed acceptance. When I am grieved or disappointed, even with you, feeling that you could have prevented my loss, I can think I must not say so. But Mary brought her raw grief and her if you had been here to you, and you received it. Keep me from feeling I must hide my grief or disappointment from you, presenting only a composed face; help me bring it honestly to you, as Mary fell at your feet. You receive my honest sorrow, even my disappointment and hard questions. Help me bring my grief and disappointment honestly to you, Lord, trusting that you receive it, and even weep with me.