Context No. 3528 of 4322 · John

John 13:21-25: in context

21When Jesus had said this, he was troubled in spirit, and testified, “Most certainly I tell you that one of you will betray me.” 22The disciples looked at one another, perplexed about whom he spoke. 23One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was at the table, leaning against Jesus’ chest. 24Simon Peter therefore beckoned to him, and said to him, “Tell us who it is of whom he speaks.” 25He, leaning back, as he was, on Jesus’ chest, asked him, “Lord, who is it?”

At the Last Supper, Jesus is troubled in spirit and says plainly, one of you will betray me. The disciples look at one another, bewildered, and no one is certain who it could be, a sign of how well Judas had hidden his heart, and perhaps of how each disciple quietly sensed his own capacity to fail.

And John gives us a tender image. The disciple whom Jesus loved was reclining close to him, leaning back against him, and it is from that place of closeness that he asks, Lord, who is it? There is something worth noticing in the contrast: Judas, whose heart had drifted into betrayal, and the beloved disciple, resting against Jesus' heart. Nearness to Jesus, leaning on him, is the safe place; drifting away, keeping one's secrets from him, is where betrayal is able to grow. The one leaning on Jesus' breast is exactly where every disciple is meant to be, close, open, at rest against his heart.

Am I living close to Jesus, leaning on him as the beloved disciple did, rather than drifting into the distance where hearts grow cold and secret?

Sources

John 13:23: "One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was at the table, leaning against Jesus' chest."
John 13:25: "He, leaning back... asked him, Lord, who is it?"
John 13:21: "He was troubled in spirit, and testified, Most certainly I tell you that one of you will betray me."